Façade: Behind the Scenes
by n5d25d90
Summary: I felt helpless, hopeless. What could I do? Everyone around me was losing their minds! And if that wasn't bad enough, the love of my life was hurting more than I could ever imagine... The following is Total Drama Action through Cody's point of view.
1. The Prologue

**It's probably too early to do this, but... I just can't wait any longer myself. XD And the prologue's ready to go, so why not?**

**This is the sequel to _Façade: Through the Eyes of the Codemeister. _I suggest reading that first before reading this.**

**This "_Façade" _series is basically the trials of Total Drama through the eyes of a certain goofy, pervy techno-geek, Cody. Even though this means that the series relies heavily on the canon of the show, I've been told that it's actually really good, so don't count this story out yet. XD**

**Why did I choose such a title? Well... at first it was obvious (even from just watching the show). No one bought that "cool guy" Cody routine, did they? But what has been seen through the course of the story thus far is that there have cases where Cody has lied to himself, and there will be even more cases yet to come.**

**Also, A huge thing about this story is to try and make sense out of every (or at least nearly every) unexplainable event that happens in the Total Drama series. One example: Justin's elimination in TDI. I actually thought that one through. XD And from what has been seen already, I've also thrown in some hard truths and life lessons. But don't worry--it doesn't get _too_ preachy.**

**But enough of my ramblings. Enjoy the show! ...Er, story.**

**-X-**

_**Façade: Behind the Scenes**_

_**Prologue**_

"Welcome, class. It's 4:00. Time for Abnormal Psychology. Let's get the attendance sheet going right away.

"Last time we learned that disorders generally have both predisposing and precipitating causes. A traumatizing event that happens when a person is a child, combined with a stressful event that happens recently, could trigger a disorder in said person.

"That does not make a person 'insane' or 'psycho.' Please, do not leave this class with that idea. Diagnosed or not, they are no less human than any human being. And more often than not, they're not even dangerous, despite popular belief. In fact, studies have shown that more acts of violence are done _**to**_ people with mental disorders than done _**by**_ people with mental disorders.

"Stress is a huge factor in mental illness. Whether it's stress by a traumatic event, or one of life's simple daily hassles, it plays a huge role in triggering most mental disorders..."

-X-

Welcome to Total Drama Action, also known as hell.

I wasn't even a contestant this time around. If you recall, I had fallen into a pool of green jelly and escaped a worse fate.

Unfortunately, _she_ wasn't so lucky. In fact, most of us weren't.

And even though I wasn't on the roster, I was still a witness to some of the hardest moments any of my friends would ever go through. To this day, I wish there was more I could have done to prevent TDA. Maybe I could have held on to the case when Owen, uh, did his business. Maybe I could have tied a weaker knot. Maybe I should have never even bothered looking for the case in the first place.

But it was too late. The season was going to happen, no matter how much we wished it wouldn't. No matter how awful it would be, it would happen, and there was nothing we could do about it.

I don't think anyone left Total Drama Action without losing _some_ of the sanity they had starting out. It wasn't just hell for the ones who suffered the most--it was hell for _everyone_. And it was all orchestrated by the devil himself: Christopher McLean.

Now just because I wasn't a contestant this time around didn't mean I didn't get a fair share of that hell. But unlike the fourteen qualifiers of TDA, my adventure into the depths of the devil's domain didn't start the second that the contestants were dropped off at the abandoned film lot in Toronto. No, my--_our_--adventure started on the "loser bus," where we met a young intern named Billy...

**-X-**

**Welcome to the sequel of **_**Façade: Through the Eyes of the Codemeister**_**. Once again we dwell deep into the (fanon) brain of Cody Insert-Last-Name-Here. Though not a contestant this time around, Cody still has one heck of an adventure before him. But not an adventure in the sense that we probably think of when we think "adventure." No, more like an adventure of the mind, of the heart, perhaps even of the soul. The adventure of friendships and heartaches that we all are familiar with. Expect more things that I have to make up on the spot this time around, and hopefully they'll be appreciated. XD If you are still reading this, thank you for taking the time to actually read my unnecessary ramblings.**

**One final thing, the intern really doesn't have a name as far as I know. But I've seen several fans call him Billy, so that's the name I'm going to give him. And who knows? Maybe the more we use it, the more likely he will end up like Canaan from **_**Oban: Star-Racers**_**. And for those of you who have never heard about that but are still curious enough to read this explanation, Canaan didn't have a name at first, but the fans started calling him that and the creator of **_**Oban: Star-Racers **_**actually made it his official name. So who knows? Maybe that'll happen to Billy. XD**

**I do not own **_**Total Drama**_**. If I did, Cody and Gwen would not only be making out, but they would be making Geoff and Bridgette jealous.**


	2. Bus Boy Billy

_**Façade: Behind the Scenes**_

_**Chapter One: Bus-Boy Billy**_

"Alright, everyone take your seats. No pushing, no shoving. We're not in a hurry like bus number one. They actually have somewhere to be in a short amount of time."

We followed the instructions given to us with little problem. I say "little" because Courtney shoved Eva forward, and the latter retaliated with a shove of her own, and the former counsellor in training landed... right on top of me. "OOF!" Great... What a fantastic way to start a brand new season.

Noah helped me up. "You okay, Codemeister?"

"Been better, been worse," I said, brushing myself off. We continued down the aisle before taking a seat near the back of the bus.

Once everyone had taken their seats, the blond guy at the front of the bus (the one who had instructed us to take our seats) began to speak again. "Everyone, listen up. My name is Billy, and Mr. McLean has instructed me to take roll."

"Roll call?" Noah questioned. "Can't you just count how many people are on the bus?"

"How else am I gonna learn your names?" He cleared his throat. "Ezekiel?"

"What?"

"...Okay. He's here... Uh... Noah?"

"Present."

"Uh-huh... um... Katie?"

"Isn't he, like, the cutest guy ever?"

"Nuh-uuuuuh! Justin is the cutest guy ever!"

"Maybe they're both the cutest guy ever!"

"Aww... you're so smart, Katie!"

"You're so smart-ER, Sadie!"

Billy looked over his clipboard. "Well, I won't have to ask who Sadie is... Hmm... Tyler?"

"Here, man."

Billy gave Tyler a long hard look, apparently puzzled by something. But he shook it off and continued. "Freaky... Uh... Courtney?"

"I am SO not supposed to be here!"

"...That's definitely you." He looked over his list again. "Did I miss any--oh shoot!" He lightly smacked himself in the forehead with his clipboard. "Sorry, guys. I'm new."

"That explains why you're still alive," Noah mumbled.

Billy looked up again. "What?"

"Well, you're an intern, aren't you?"

"So?"

Noah rolled his eyes. "Nothing, nothing..."

After a few seconds of silence, Billy continued. "I take it you're Eva, and you back there are Cody?" We both nodded. "Good." He turned to the bus driver. "You know where to go."

"Next stop, Toronto," the driver said as he shifted the gears, and the bus began to move.

Katie and Sadie both giggled as the speed of the bus began to pick up. "Theeee..."

"Don't do it, you two!" Noah warned them. They didn't listen.

"Theeeee..."

"I'm warning you!"

"Alright, alright, fine," Katie and Sadie conceded.

Or so we thought.

"Theeee wheels on the bus go round and round! Round--"

"UGH!!" Noah slammed his head on the window. "God, if You're there... be merciful and teleport us to Toronto PRONTO." When nothing happened, he groaned. "Someone's not as merciful as He wants us to think."

"You can't exactly make God do anything," I pointed out. "He's not your lackey, you know."

Noah wasn't listening; he was too busy slamming his head on the window... repeatedly.

"The horn on the bus goes beep-beep-beep..."

-X-

"The... uuuh... wristbands on Billy are black-black-black..."

"Cody..." Noah finally spoke up after about a half an hour of torture.

"Yeah?"

"...Punch me in the face."

I stared at him and shook my head. "Dude. I'm not hitting you."

"Please. I need something to distract me from the pain..."

I rolled my eyes. "Dude, it's not that bad. Try to read something."

"There is absolutely no way I'll be able to read anything with them singing." He endured for at least another ten seconds before nearly losing his mind. "UGH! Blonde Tyler!"

The intern didn't stir, though Tyler did. "Dude, my hair is brown."

Noah groaned, and I poked his shoulder, getting his attention. "Billy," I whispered.

"Right, right." He called out again. "BILLY!"

Finally, the intern turned. "What?"

"I'm losing my mind over here!" He gestured toward the two similarly-clad girls before us. "Please... make it stop..."

Billy rolled his eyes and got Katie and Sadie's attentions. "Can you please stop singing? You're giving that kid a migraine."

The two stopped singing, but they weren't done speaking. "Aww..." Katie whined. "Singing songs makes bus rides fun!"

"Yeah, what are we gonna do to keep us from dying from boredom?" Sadie added.

"Read a book, maybe?" Noah suggested, not too thrilled with the idea that it probably wouldn't be picked up.

"...That's a great idea, Noah!" Sadie squealed, and she picked up a book. "This is, like, my totally favourite book ever."

"Oh, mine, toooooo!"

"Greeeeat," Noah muttered. "Now can you please shut up and read?"

"Noah--" I tried to get him to stop; he was only making things worse. He apparently didn't care.

"I'm surprised Courtney hasn't said anything about their singing yet." We turned to the former CIT, who had just looked up when her name was spoken.

"Sorry, Noah, but I'm trying to make an important call. Can you please keep it down?"

I chuckled as Noah's eye twitched from the absurd irony.

"So, who ya callin', eh?" I heard Ezekiel ask the former CIT.

"My lawyers," she said quickly before gesturing for Zeke to shush before returning her full attention to the phone.

But neither her attention nor ours was kept elsewhere for long...

"LIKE, OH MAH GAWD!! BILLY IS SOOOO HOTT!!"

"Oh, crap," Noah muttered. "I'm starting to regret suggesting for them to read."

The intern at the front of the bus, however, didn't have the same expression we had. Blushing madly, he stammered, "Wh-what? Uh, sorry, but... you two aren't exactly my type..."

Katie and Sadie looked up at him, and giggled. "Oh, we don't mean you," Sadie said.

"Not that you're not hot or anything," Katie quickly added.

"Because you are."

"But yeah, we're talking about this book right here: _Before the Dawn _by Stephen Mayor."

"Billy in this book is, like, a complete hunk."

"Yeah, I know! A total hunk!"

"He sparkles."

"Like, oh my God, he totally does!"

"And he's got this girlfriend Edwina, who is like the prettiest girl ever."

"Though not as pretty as Sadie, though."

"Aw, Katie..."

Noah's twitch spread to his entire body. I was hit a few times as a result.

-X-

My egghead buddy was the first one off the bus once it finally came to a stop in front of the abandoned film lot. "LAAAAND!" he cried, falling face first on the asphalt.

"I wouldn't lay there if I were you," Billy said as he stepped off the bus. "What if you get hit by a car?"

"I'm ready for it."

I chuckled as my shoes touched pavement. "Noah, you have issues, man."

"Issues?" Noah repeated. "You had bread in your pants once."

"And I have a bra in my pants now. Your point?"

"...I used to think you were sane."

Ignoring that statement, I pulled Noah up to his feet before focusing my attention on the film lot. "Holy crap. That's one run-down film lot, dude."

"Always the perceptive one, aren't we, Cody?"

"It's why you love me."

I laughed as Noah choked on _my _words. "C-C-Cody!" he shouted, blushing deeply.

"Oh, grow a sense of humour."

"I have a sense of humour. It just doesn't involve rumours of my sexual orientation!"

Before I could retaliate, Billy stepped in between us. "Alright, you two. Quit making out over here and follow the rest of us."

"Hey!" Noah was quick to complain. I just shook my head and caught up with the rest of the group.

"So, this is the place the campers are gonna be competing?" Tyler asked, curious.

"Castmates, and yes," Billy confirmed. "But you aren't staying here. Mr. McLean just wanted me to show you this place and make you jealous that you aren't competing here."

Courtney growled as she pulled out her phone and began to call her lawyers... again.

Eva also growled, but she didn't move. Everyone else seemed indifferent about not competing there.

"Hey, hey, it's my job," he defended himself, looking a little intimidated by Eva's glare. "I don't make the rules." He led us back out of the film lot. "You'll actually be staying in the hotel across the street. It's not as fancy as the Playa des Losers, but that's alright because Mr. McLean is allowing you to check out the town. You just need to sign a few confidentiality agreements and be back here by ten each night."

"Aw, sweet!" Tyler whooped. "We can go anywhere we want?"

"Anywhere in Toronto," Billy pointed out, "though I think you should probably stay in this general area."

"Oh, my God!" Sadie squealed. "Katie! We can visit your mom!"

"Oh, my God!" Katie repeated. "Sadie! We can visit _your_ mom!"

"Oh, we should totally visit your mom!"

"We should totally visit _your_ mom!"

"How about we visit each other's moms?"

"...Sadie, you are a genius!"

"Oh, you're more geniuser than I am, Katie!"

Noah groaned, despite having the guffawing goofball that is me standing right next to him. "Please punch me in the face. I beg of you..."

**-X-**

**And that is chapter one, my dear readers.**

**So far so good, right? Not so much the hell you were expecting yet? Well, except for Noah, of course.**

**But that hell, that's coming soon. Very soon. I guarantee it...**

**...**

**There, don't you just feel warm and fuzzy inside after reading that? XD Probably not. So, to cheer you up, here's a little game I like to call NAME THAT MOVIE!**

**I probably won't do this a lot. Heck, maybe I'll never even do it again. *shrugs* Don't know yet.**

**Anyway, there are two obscure movie references (at least done purposefully) in this chapter. And no, the Twilight spoof isn't one of them. I wanna see if any of you can catch them. :D**


	3. Roommates and Double Dates

_**Façade: Behind the Scenes**_

_**Chapter Two: Roommates and Double Dates**_

"Nice place." My eyes wandered the hotel lobby. I let out a whistle when they fell on a large fountain in the middle. "This must've cost Chris a pretty penny. Are you sure this isn't as fancy as the Playa des Losers?"

Billy shook his head. "Nope. The fountain's really all that's nice about this place, if you ask me. Aside from a few lounges and a pool, there's not much you can do here."

"Even the Playa des Losers had a gym," Eva groaned.

"Exactly my point."

"So, how do you know about the Playa des Losers?" Tyler asked. "I never saw you there."

"I started my internship with Mr. McLean the day before we all left," he explained. "You guys were mostly hanging out outside, and I was cleaning up some messes in the resort. It's a shame, too. I liked that place." His eyes fell on Noah, and an uneasy look resulted from it. "...What?"

"You wear earrings?"

He chuckled, shrugging at the bookworm. "Ah. Mr. McLean told me you were the smartass of the group. Noah, right?"

"And yet you have the nerve to joke about _my_ sexuality?"

He seemed confused for a moment, and then just laughed when he (most likely) remembered what he said before. "Oh, dude, lighten up. It was just a joke because you and him seemed practically joined at the hip. I probably would've made the same joke about them." He gestured toward Katie and Sadie.

"And I suppose wearing earrings automatically makes you straight?" Noah asked sarcastically.

"Dude, if you must know, I have the hots for a girl, which is more than I can say from what I've heard from you."

"Oh, is she cute?" I asked, and quickly kicked myself mentally for it.

"She's _very_ cute." Oh, good. He didn't kick my ass. "I met her a year ago when I was flying to the States for some other internship. She was an intern too, for the airlines, and now she works there--look." He shook his head, trying to get back on track. "I gotta show you guys to your rooms. Maybe we can talk about this later."

I shrugged. "Fine by me," I said, following Billy and the others to the elevators and hearing Noah grumble along the way.

"Stupid intern... What does he know? ...That airline girl probably doesn't even exist..."

-X-

"Alright, here are your room keys." Billy held up a small bag of keys. "Obviously, the room number on the keys tells you what room you're going to be staying in. It's not that hard to figure out. Any questions?"

Sadie spoke up. "Is it one camper--"

"Castmate," the intern corrected.

"--castmate per room?"

"Nope. Up to two each. That doesn't mean you have to have a roommate, as the producers have rented out this entire floor, but it'd be a good idea. We don't want to run out of rooms."

Squealing, Katie and Sadie quickly grabbed a key and went to their respective room.

"I don't care what the producers say," Eva sneered. "If I don't want to kill anyone at my stay here, I'm sleeping alone." She grabbed a key and went to her own room. Courtney followed suit, as she didn't want a roommate either. Tyler and Ezekiel, surprisingly, decided to share a room.

I turned to Noah. "Well?"

"I'm not sharing a room with you. It's bad enough people still joke about the whole thing," Noah muttered.

Billy shrugged. "Eh, alright. You can have your own room and risk people assuming you're in denial."

"...You make me sick." He grabbed a key from the intern and summoned me with a finger. "Come on, Cody. We're sharing a room."

"But I thought it'd make us look gay," I said mockingly.

"Do you want me to kill you in your sleep?"

-X-

"See, this isn't so bad, is it? Kind of a nice room, too. Neat throw pillows."

Noah attempted to smother himself with his pillow. "Cody... you're lucky there are two separate beds, or you'd be sleeping on the floor."

"Already we're fighting like a married couple." I rolled my eyes. "Noah, you really do need to lighten up. If you don't, this is going to keep screwing with your head 'til you completely lose your mind."

"The worst that can happen if I do snap is someone sending me to an asylum where I can be with my own kind."

"...And you say I have issues."

I heard someone knocking on our door. "Hmm... I wonder who that could be..." I walked to the door, expecting, perhaps, Chris McLean with a rag drenched in chloroform. Who I found instead was...

"Sadie!" I quickly hugged my lovely and friendly ex. "What's up? I thought you and Katie were going to go visit your families."

She returned the hug. "Oh, we have plenty of time to do that. We were kinda hoping that, for old time's sake, we could have a night on the town." She giggled. "It could be a double date..."

"What?" Noah quickly made his opinion known. "No! I'm not going on some stupid double date!"

"Aw, come on, Noah," Sadie pleaded. I have no idea how Noah could say no to that face, but he did. "Katie really thinks you should come and get rid of that pole up your butt."

I was doubled over in fits of giggles, but Noah remained a rock. "I am not going."

Sadie stuck a tongue out at him. "Fine. Come on, Cody. We'll find someone else to tag along with us."

"Hehehe, alright." I quickly grabbed the key, then noticed an intriguing flaw in the producers' logic. "Uh... shouldn't we, you know, have two keys?"

"What, you're afraid I'm going to lock you out if you leave the key here?" Noah asked.

"Yes."

Noah grumbled. "Just leave the damn key here. I might go to a snack machine or something later."

I shrugged and left the key on the nightstand. "You better not lock me out."

"I wouldn't dream of it."

-X-

"He locked me out!"

I knocked on the door multiple times. Nothing. Dammit, Noah!

Sadie and Katie patted my shoulder. "Hey, you can stay with us tonight if you want," Sadie suggested.

"Or me an' Tyler, eh," Ezekiel added.

"Nah, he'll open up." I knocked again and shouted into the room. "Noah, if you don't open this door, whenever a girl on the street asks me if you really are gay, I won't defend you!"

Surprisingly nothing happened.

"I'm not very intimidating, am I?" I asked the trio. They shook their heads.

"Come on, you're staying with us." Katie and Sadie both grabbed me by the arms and practically dragged me to their room.

Now don't get me wrong. That was actually kinda cool, having girls actually want you in their bedrooms, but... I really wish they didn't have to drag me. I felt like a wuss not having a choice in the matter.

-X-

"Aw, wasn't that so much fun?"

"Aw, totally!"

"It was, like, so much fun!"

"It was also cool that Zeke agreed to going along. You'd think he'd be nervous or something."

"Oh, he was nervous. He definitely was nervous."

"Well, yeah, but I meant you'd think he'd be too nervous to go."

"I think he liked coming back to the hotel a lot better."

"Hehehehe, yeah... especially after we ran into Izzy."

I chuckled. Katie and Sadie had decided to share one of the beds, and I was on the other. I was a little concerned at first considering my small mass combined with one of the girls would be less strain on the bed than, well, both girls on the same bed, but the horndog in me was too excited with the thought of two girls being on the same bed to care.

And yeah, that run-in with Izzy, that was an interesting moment of our night...

_--FLASHBACK WITHIN A FLASHBACK--_

_"Ooh, wow, eh." Ezekiel skimmed over the menu one more time. "This food is... pretty pricy."_

_"Nah, it's not so bad," I said, reading another menu. "I've been to more expensive places." I looked up at the others. "If you want, I'll buy."_

_"That won't be necessary, sir," a waiter said as he appeared at our table. "The young lady over there has offered to pick up your tab." He gestured toward another table, where sat what appeared to be a giant monster and his... date..._

_"Izzy?!" Katie, Sadie, and I shouted in shock._

_"...Hoo did we noot notice the moonster there, eh?"_

_"Hi, guys!" Izzy somersaulted her way over to our table. "What's up?"_

_"Okay, first of all, who's that?" Sadie pointed to Izzy's date._

_"Oh, that's Animatronic Monster. He was terrorizing the movie set this morning, and he and I decided to go on a date." She shrugged. "He's such a wild guy. How could I say no?_

_"Oh, and before you ask, I got the money from the producers." It was like she read my mind. ...Why am I not surprised if she could? "In those two days in between shows, I pitched an idea to them for a talk show. They loved the idea, but I need to find someone to host it. They don't want me to host because they're afraid I'll set the stage on fire... or something. I don't know, really. But they want me to find someone really charismatic. Or 'sometwo' like Regis and Kelly." She shrugged. "That's alright, though. I don't care if I'm not the host, as long as I get to appear."_

_"Well, I can't wait to see your talk show, Izzy," Katie said._

_"It's not really going to be _my_ talk show, but thank you." She glanced over at her, uh, date. "Oop! Better get back to my table. Animatronic Monster looks so lonely over there. See ya!" She threw a smoke bomb on the floor and scurried to her table while we were unable to see her._

_"...That... was soomethin', eh."_

_--END FLASHBACK WITHIN A FLASHBACK--_

Ah, yes, the talk show. Why don't we hear more about that?

Total Drama Action Aftermath was basically a show within a show. It wouldn't be long before the idea would actually fly, thanks to the early dismissal of... well... a few campers--er--castmates, Izzy included.

Unfortunately, as awesome as the idea sounded at the time, it wound up being a center stage for all the hell we were about to endure this season. It was like... everything bad that would happen on or off the show would end up on the Aftermath stage, where things would hit it's hardest point. And until the very end of the season, the Aftermath stage was probably the most dreaded set on the entire film lot for many of the castmates, especially...

...

Do I need to say?

**-X-**

**Insert ominous music here.**

**And now, it's time for... GREAT MOMENTS IN WEIRDNESS, starring Nick.**

**You know that challenge in the last chapter where I had you guess what movies I referenced? Well, for starters, I need to watch more movies, I guess. XD And second, Fight Club actually was not one of the movies I was asking for. I didn't even have Fight Club in mind when I was writing that chapter. And yet, somehow, I managed to word something in a way that someone thought I referenced Fight Club in the chapter. Maybe it was unconsciously done, though I'm not even sure if I've seen Fight Club. But still, only I could pull off referencing something without meaning to. XD Kidding.**

**That being said, the two references were South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut (Noah's bickering with Katie and Sadie before they sang "The Wheels on the Bus" is supposed to be a parody of Kyle trying to get Cartman to not sing the song about his mom) and The Pacifier ("LAAAND!").**


	4. Recollection and Remorse

**I'm on a role! :D Thank God for Spring Break. XD**

**Unfortunately, I haven't even gotten started on the next chapter yet, so it's quite possible that my streak will be broken tomorrow. XD**

**And I know, this chapter's pretty short too. But I'm sure the content will make up for it. :)**

**Total Drama Action is owned by Teletoon, Fresh TV, Cake Entertainment, whatever. Just know it's definitely _not_ me. 'Cause if I _did_ own Total Drama, not only would Cody be in TDA, but he and Gwen would be the first ones eliminated, if you catch my drift. ;)**

**...And if you have to ask why they would be eliminated first, you've obviously forgotten why Geoff and Bridgette got the boot first. XD**

**-X-**

_**Façade: Behind the Scenes**_

_**Chapter Three: Recollection and Remorse**_

"Ya guys find it weird that, well, Izzy's not here, eh?" Ezekiel asked the next morning. We were in the indoor pool area of the hotel, trying to find something to do to pass the time. "I mean, she was oot last night. I thought she was kicked off the shoo."

"I guess she was just being Izzy," I suggested. "I mean, she was dating an animatronic monster, after all."

"I wonder who was, uh, animatronizing it," Sadie pondered.

"And why would the person controlling it actually take it on a date with Izzy?" I questioned. "I mean, not because it's Izzy, mind you, but why make it go on a date in the first place?"

"Weirder stuff's happeened on this shoo, eh," Ezekiel pointed out. And let's face it... there was no way we could argue with that.

"So what do you think the first challenge was?" Katie inquired.

"Hmm..." I rubbed the back of my head in thought. "I... guess it had something to do with the monster."

"Fig'oored that, eh," Ezekiel said, shrugging. "I'm shoor we'll find oot, thoo. I mean, Chris is prob'ly gonna send us, uh, thoose roof **[1] **cuts ag'een."

"True," I agreed. "It's a good thing he made us sign those confidentiality agreements, eh?"

"Ooh, yeah. He woodn't want us to speel the beans, eh. ...Uh, is that the right term, eh?" I nodded, and he clapped gleefully. "Ooh, I'm gettin' the hang of this stooff!"

-X-

The hotel was shockingly empty that night. No, I don't mean that because we were all out checking out some of the stores and other hotspots nearby. What I mean is... no one showed up.

Two nights into the competition and no one was eliminated yet.

I couldn't help but be curious.

"Cody, just forget about the competition for now," Noah said, finally having let me in my own hotel room. "She can handle herself. You know that."

"Huh?" I gave him a weird look. "Nah, nah, that's not it, dude. I mean, yeah, I'm worried about her and all, but I'm worried about everyone. And you have to wonder why no one's been eliminated yet. In first season, Zeke was eliminated on the first day. It's day two now, and still no one." I shrugged. "Maybe I'm looking too far into it."

"I'd say." He covered himself with his sheets and turned away from me. "Goodnight, Cody."

"Night." I got under my covers as well. Yeah, I'm probably just looking too far into this...

...

Sigh.

I sat up. Making sure not to startle Noah, I got out of bed and made my way toward the bathroom. I don't know how, but Noah mentioning _her _got to me. One hard look in the mirror, and I could see us again. The stump. The canoe. The bra.

Speaking of which...

I fumbled through the pockets of my jeans resting on the side of the bathtub. Here we are. I pulled out the telltale cloth, a frown imbedded into my face. For some reason, my usually dominant positive side seemed to vanish as all the dreadful moments of the past few months seemed to trigger in my mind just by the sight of a simple undergarment. And yet... physically I wasn't even aware of the effect. Until I noticed a wet spot on one of the black ovals, I hadn't even known I was crying.

_"Shouldn't you be on the boys' side?"_

_"Beat it."_

_"What part of 'beat it' do you not understand?"_

_"What are you? Some kind of freak?"_

_"You're not sorry, Cody. Guys like you never are."_

_"I am not going out with you. EVER."_

_"And I bet you, somewhere out there, Cody's wishing he could jack off."_

"Cody!"

I opened my eyes. ...Wait... When did I end up on my knees?

I heard knocking. "Cody, are you alright? I heard crying."

"I-I'm fine, Noah," I called back, using the tub as support for getting me back on my feet. "I'm f-fine." I stumbled my way to the door and opened it, standing face to face with my bookworm buddy.

He didn't look too thrilled. "Geez, Cody! You look terrible!"

"No, really, I'm fine."

Without missing a beat, he grabbed the bra out of my hand. "And I don't suppose this has anything to do with your current state."

I chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of my head. "Uh... no?"

"You need help."

"I don't need help, dude." I took the bra back and went back into the bathroom, putting it back in my jeans pocket. "I'm fine. Just... had a bad day."

"You were happy all damned day," Noah just had to point out. "And now you're a wreck. Your eyes look like they're supergiants ready to become super-freaking-novas."

I rolled said supergiants at the brainiac. "Look, I can't help that I'm a failure." I walked past him back to my bed. "I'm just having a hard time accepting it right now."

"You are _not _a failure."

"Oh yeah? Prove it."

"Well... uh..." The egghead was dumbfounded--a rare moment indeed. "Uh... I... Just... trust me, Cody. You are not a failure."

"Uh-huh." I covered myself up again. "Then explain to me why I can't get over one damn girl when I could easily get over all the other times I've been rejected in the past. Oh! There's an idea! Explain to me why I keep getting rejected!"

"And I thought I was difficult..."

"I can't help that I'm angry, too."

"Angry at who? Gwen?"

"No."

"...Oh, for all that is sane, Cody, please don't say--"

"Me."

"OH, there we go!" He threw a pillow at me, startling me to the point of flailing my arms. "You know what? Screw it! Wallow in your own stupid self-pity. I don't care! Just let me sleep, 'cause I'm sick of this nonsense!"

Yeah, like a broken heart is nonsense.

I groaned, getting out of bed yet again. "I don't need to take this. I'm going to see if I can stay with Katie and Sadie again."

"Have fun with your threesome."

"Kiss my ass."

-X-

Luckily for me, the BFFFLs let me stay with them again.

"Noah being cranky again?" Sadie asked me when she offered me her bed.

I rubbed my arm, a little embarrassed. "Actually... it was kinda both of us this time."

"What happened?" Katie asked curiously.

"I don't really want to talk about it, Katie. Sorry." I said, lying down on the bed.

"Can I ask you one thing about it?" she pushed on.

I sighed. "What?"

"Did it have to do with Gw--?"

"I said I don't want to talk about it," I quickly interrupted, pulling my covers up to my face and turning away from the girls. "Night."

"Night," was the rather feeble reply, and I didn't hear anything after that. Not even fangirl chatter to each other.

Man... Maybe something _is_ wrong with me.

...Nah, you're just having a bad night, Cody. Besides, you know she doesn't think that way about you now. What's with all this? What, you think without you being there, she'll just start thinking about all the bad times again? Don't get so worked up, dude.

...

Sigh.

Why does it have to be so hard to get over her...?

-X-

"WAKE UP, SLEEPY HEAD!!"

"WHAZZA?!" I bolted up into a sitting position and, in mere nanoseconds, felt a pillow slam across my face. "YAGH!" Falling back, I shook the cobwebs out of my head and looked up to find Katie and Sadie armed with the cushy weapons.

"You were in such a bad mood last night, we thought we should cheer you up today," Sadie explained. "Come on, let's have some fun!"

"We could go to the mall again and buy some clothes," Katie quickly suggested. "That'll be fun!"

"Uh, I think we should do something Cody would find fun so it'd cheer him up," Sadie explained.

"Oh. ...You don't find clothes shopping fun?"

"Not really," I admitted, rubbing the back of my neck. After some thought, I spoke up again. "Uh... Is there an arcade around here? Videogames usually cheer me up when I'm down."

Katie and Sadie gave each other an unsure look, but quickly smiled and squealed. "I bet there will be tons of cute guys at the arcade!" Katie swooned.

"Oh, I hope so!"

I chuckled, getting out of bed. I could barely remember what I was so upset about the night before (at least at that moment), but I was game for any fun day. "Let's get going then, shall we?"

-X-

"EEEEEE!!" Sadie smothered the teddy bear I had gotten her with my tickets. "Thank you so much, Cody! I know how much you wanted that lava lamp."

"Eh," I shrugged.

"Aw, Sadie, we so owned that dance machine," Katie recalled, beaming.

Sadie whooped. "Aw yeah! We were so awesome! And the guys couldn't keep their eyes off us!"

"I know I couldn't," I said, smirking. It was amazing that Katie and Sadie had found a distraction for me from Gwen without even realizing it: bouncing up and down on a dancing machine. I swear, I could have made a river with all that drool...

"Hehehe. Naughty, naughty, Cody," Sadie mock-scolded, and we all laughed.

We were near the parking lot of the hotel when suddenly Katie stopped moving. Concerned, Sadie and I poked her on the shoulders (I had to reach more than she did). "You okay, Katie?"

Katie pointed across the road, at the film lot. "I think I saw Chris's helicopter flying over there."

And then we saw a giant splash of green in the distance.

"Holy crap!" I blinked a few times, not even sure exactly what I just saw. "What was that?"

"Do we want to know?" Katie asked. "It looked gross."

"Maybe it was green jelly," Sadie joked.

I couldn't help but chuckle. "Yeah. I guess Courtney lucked out after all."

Sadie giggled. "Well, I wouldn't tell her that."

"Me neither." What? I'm no idiot.

-X-

Later that night, TDA's first elimination--or, should I say, "eliminations"--finally showed up at the hotel... in the crappiest looking limousine I had ever seen.

"I wonder how you two got the boot," Noah muttered sarcastically as Geoff and Bridgette smooched their way to the elevator, with Billy in tow. They apparently didn't hear him, as they continued to suck face the entire time.

"Anyone willing to bet money on why?" Tyler asked, smirking.

I smirked right back, quickly replying, "Nope."

**-X-**

**[1] actually "rough"**

**-X-**

**Finally! We're getting somewhere. XD**

**I figured I'd group the first two challenges into one recap because the challenge days are so close together (or at least I figure they would be--they had to wake up early, after all), so expect that coming up.**

**Also, sorry if Cody's little... I don't really know how to put this... Spell? Anyway, I'm sorry if it seems a little out of place. I'm not very proud of my lead in to that moment, but I honestly don't know how to make it better, so you're stuck with it. XD And if you think he seems completely out of character (though I don't think I have to worry about that if you've read the first one), keep in mind the potential connotations involved in a title like "Façade." It's not just him thinking he's cool, at least not here. There are other questions to ask, too, like say:**

_**Is he always that happy? Or is there something else going on inside?**_

**And my personal favorite... (What? It **_**is**_** my OTP, I have the right to ask this. XD)**

_**Is he really over Gwen? Is he really "happy"?**_

**See? Façade is not just a fancy title with a cool looking "c" that makes you go, "Oh, that's so cool! I wanna read this now." Nope. There's a reason that's the title of the series.**

**And if you knew this already, I apologize for my rambling. XD**


	5. Chris Pulls the Trigger, Pt 1

**No offense, anyone, but... if you're going to ask me a question, PLEASE enable your personal messages. -_-;; It's kinda hard to answer your questions if I can't contact you.**

**That being said, someone asked if this is the real TDA, since they haven't seen it. Well, it's based on it. Obviously, not everything in this fic really happened on the show, but it takes place within canon (just like its predecessor, by the way), and is meant to coincide with things that **_**did**_** happen on the show. So in a way... a little bit of yes, a little bit of no. And for the record, Cody wasn't a contestant in TDA, so... like I said, don't expect things like, say, the double date from two chapters ago to appear in the show. It won't. Though Izzy dating an animatronic monster DID happen on the show. XD**

**I think I understand why the question was asked. With all the made-up versions of TDA on this site, it's pretty hard to know what was part of the show and what wasn't if you haven't seen the season or cheated by looking up information online. In that case, then yes, this fic is probably **_**much**_** closer to TDA canon than any of the other fics you may have seen. **

**I hope that explanation made sense.**

**-X-**

_**Façade: Behind the Scenes**_

_**Chapter Four: Chris Pulls the Trigger, Part 1**_

"Anyone got a crowbar?" Noah muttered, gesturing toward the opposite end of the cafeteria, where Bridgette and Geoff had continued to swap spit.

"You know those security guards that keep pro wrestlers separated when they get pissed at each other?" Tyler asked us, but he didn't wait for an answer. "We're gonna need a few of them to separate these two."

I couldn't help but chuckle; the jokes were funny enough, but the two lovebirds probably couldn't even hear us--they were too lost in each other.

Courtney didn't find it as funny as we did, though. "That's enough, you two. Don't you think you've shown each other enough affection for one day? Or a whole year?"

"Hey, it doon't bother me, eh." Ezekiel folded his arms at the former CIT. "It's kinda cute to see Bri--uh, them happy." His hands found the tabletop, fingers drumming as he dipped down slightly.

Man, someone give me a mirror right now so I can see if I'm wearing a toque.

I looked back up at Geoff and Bridgette, and groaned inwardly. Great. Thanks, Zeke. Now all I can see is her and Trent over there...

Nah, I can't get mad at Zeke over that. He didn't do anything wrong--it's my stupid little crush, that's all. It'll pass, dude. It'll pass. Sure, it's taking much longer than past crushes, but that doesn't mean...

"Bridgette, Geoff, isn't it a little unhealthy to be so, uh, involved?" I'm usually not thankful for Courtney's excessive preaching, but this time I was actually sighing with relief when she interrupted my thoughts.

"Come on, Court," an obviously annoyed Tyler spoke. "You'd do the same thing if Duncan were here."

Courtney gasped at the audacity of his words. How do I know this? "The audacity! I do NOT like that stupid ogre!"

"Oh, come on, don't you watch movies at all?" Eva asked. "Just because he's an ogre doesn't mean you don't like him, 'princess'." That's when she must have noticed all attention was on her (excluding Geoff and Bridgette, of course). "What? I like that movie. Showed that you don't have to be pretty to be beautiful." Still more stares, which led to her ire. "What, you guys got something to say about it? HUH?!"

"I'm just surprised you watch _movies_, let alone animated movies," Noah spoke. "And keep it together, Eva. If there's blood on the floor by the end of the day, you'll be cleaning it up with your toothbrush."

"And if I refuse?" she asked rather menacingly.

Noah put his hands up in mock-defence. "Oh, my! I'm so scared! Too scared to ever help you with your anger management issues." His expression turned back to that of indifference. "You don't want to end up in juvie, do you?"

"...No." She crossed her arms, most likely knowing she had been defeated. A bloody mess on the floor probably wasn't worth having the freedom of listening to her MP3 player taken away.

"I didn't think so."

"So, Geoff, Bridgette, anything to tell us about what's been going on in the competition?" Tyler asked them. "How's Lindsay doing?"

"Tyler," Noah remarked, "that's not going to wor--"

"I think she's doing alright."

The sudden answer shocked us as Bridgette and Geoff had finally taken their attentions off of each other. They gave us weird looks as they noticed our shock. "...What?"

"You're... not kissing," Noah noted.

Bridgette rolled her eyes, miffed. "Oh, come on! We don't make out all the time, you know."

"Wanna bet?" Eva asked. "Great job reminding most of us that we're single, by the way."

The surfer girl frowned. "...We... really do make out a lot, don't we?"

"Yup."

"So... what's been happening on the show?" Tyler asked again.

"Well... we don't know what happened, but at one point everyone just stopped liking us," Bridgette told us.

"I wonder why," Noah muttered.

"So, how's Duncan?" Courtney quickly asked. "Is he staying out of trouble?"

"Well, he hasn't done anything too major, I don't think," Geoff answered, rubbing the back of his neck. "I mean... I don't remember him doing anything."

"And Gwen?" Hey, if Courtney's asking about Duncan, why can't I ask about Gwen?

"Yeah, yeah," Courtney groaned. "Let's hear all about the antisocial downer."

"Gwen's not like that," Bridgette defended. "She's actually very sweet."

"She's probably giving the other campers hell as we speak," Courtney said, folding her arms in a prissy manner.

"I wouldn't keep that up if I were you," Bridgette warned her. "You don't have to like her, but Geoff, Duncan, and I do, so I wouldn't say too many bad things abou--"

"Wait, wait, wait... what?!" Courtney's hands balled into fists. "What do you mean 'Duncan likes her'?"

"And the crap hits the fan." Noah twirled his finger in the air. "I take it you're blind, Courtney, if you hadn't noticed all the times Duncan and Gwen bonded in season one. Sometimes the best of rivals make the best of friends, and vice versa."

I swear I could see smoke escape Courtney's ears. "UGH! She better not try anything!"

"Why would she?" I asked--I had no idea what the big deal was. "She's with Trent. Why would she cheat on Trent?"

"Exactly," Bridgette agreed, smiling.

Courtney still wasn't moved. "Oh, please. Trent's kind of... a loser if you ask me."

"And Duncan?" Eva asked.

"Wha-whoa-woo-wha?" Courtney was dumbfounded, her face contorting into some of the most amusing expressions I have ever seen. "W-What kind of question is that?"

"Well, for someone that supposedly doesn't like Duncan, you certainly don't like the idea of them being a couple," Noah pointed out.

"Because he can do so much better!"

Ooo-ooooh, that's not going to sit well with me.

"Ex-_squeeze_ me?" I stood up; my eyes never left the former CIT once. "I didn't quite catch that. Did you say that a criminal who bullies nerds and geeks, steals equipment from the show, and is scared of a stupid standee deserves someone better than Gwen?" Courtney didn't flinch. Neither did I. "And I suppose who he does deserve is an abusive and nearly homicidal witch with massive grudge issues."

"I'm sorry, did you say something?" Courtney simply asked. "It's really hard to decipher the crap coming out of your mouth and the words coming out of your ass."

"Suddenly, breakfast became entertaining," Noah said as happily as he possibly could. It didn't sound much different from his normal voice.

"Please, don't fight!" Bridgette interjected, stepping between Courtney and me. "But Cody's right about one thing, Courtney. Gwen's a great person. Much greater than what you're giving her credit for."

Courtney rolled her eyes. "She probably slept her way to the--"

She didn't finish, nor did she have to. By that point, Bridgette had to hold me back. For the second time since I've met her, my brain stopped considering Courtney a lady, which gave me grounds (mentally) to punch her, but Bridgette luckily kept me from doing so.

"Courtney, that was uncalled for," the surfer girl said, still holding me back. "You do realize she's my friend, too, don't you?"

"You don't want to lose Bridgette's friendship, do you?" Noah asked. "What friendships would you have left then?"

It took a few seconds, but Courtney finally (and reluctantly) conceded. "Sorry, Bridgette. I'm just... PISSED. I'm in the middle of a legal battle with Chris right now; I don't need anymore stress!"

"Stress about what?" Noah asked. "Losing Duncan?"

"No! I do not like that ogre one bit!" Courtney scoffed.

"Then what's the big deal?"

The former CIT groaned. "You guys just don't understand." Without another word, she walked out of the room anticlimactically.

Bridgette finally let go of me. "Looks like Courtney isn't the only one that needs to control their anger. I didn't even know you get angry."

"Everyone gets angry," I muttered. "But no one says things like that about Gwen." I shook my head, walking away from the surfer girl. "Especially someone who nearly killed me once."

"Whoa, what?!" Apparently this was news to Bridgette, but I just kept walking straight out of the room. Along the way I could hear someone ask who was going to eat my food, but I ignored it.

But I couldn't ignore Bridgette. She followed me out of the room. "Did you say Courtney almost killed you?"

"Yes, and I don't really want to talk about it." I rubbed my arm nervously. "But... if you're that curious, ask Tyler."

"The hot air balloon?" she asked. I just nodded. I said I didn't want to talk about it, and I meant it.

I don't know what was going on through Courtney's head at that time. I really don't think I want to know either. She calls people out for having the audacity to say things against her, but she seems to think it's alright to have the audacity to say things about other people.

I wanted to believe Bridgette. I really did. But from what I've seen, Courtney's just not a great human being. Not that I'm any better, but... she damn sure doesn't deserve whatever high horse she's trying to get on.

For most of the day, I was in my room, mostly lying on the bed, staring at--guess. Just guess. God, I'm such a freak, staring at a bra like it was more than just a damn piece of underwear. Yeah, just feel around, you sick pervert. It's the closest you'll ever get to touching her boobs. Hell, it's the closest you'll probably ever get to touching her at all.

No. No, don't think like that, Cody. She didn't have to give you this, you know. Hell, you tried to give it back! I can't even believe she let me keep the thing.

I know, I'm being hard on myself. No, the reason I was staring at it then was because for some reason it kept my thoughts about Gwen a little more... focused, I guess. I couldn't see how Courtney would say things like that about her. I mean, okay, I admit, there's a little bias here, but... it just seemed... unfathomable. And what better way to lower my self-esteem; after how I acted last season, there were times I felt Gwen definitely deserved better than me. And with Duncan, again of all people, deserving better than her...

...Wait. Why am I thinking about Duncan and Gwen being together? Courtney's the one that's suspicious about a relationship between the two, not me. I highly doubt Gwen would give up a cool musician for a convict.

...Still, what was with her practically calling Gwen a whore? What the heck? "Oh, my God, she shows cleavage! She's a slut!" That's a load of BS. Look at your own damn bikini, Courtney. "Oh, lookie, there's some cleavage showing there, too. Wow!"

Prissy little--

Knock, knock. Oop. Someone's at the door.

"Come in. It's unlocked."

I looked up to see who was entering my hotel room. "Oh, hey. What's up?"

Geoff tipped his hat at me. "Hey, first off, congrats on standing up to Courtney like that. You got some guts there, man."

I smiled. "Thanks."

"Chyah. Anyway, just checking to make sure you're alright. I know you liked her, man." He took note of the bra I mistakenly forgot to put away. "And I guess you still do?"

"Yeah," I admitted, futilely trying to hide the bra behind my back.

"Cool, cool. Nothing wrong with that." He gave me a thumbs up before becoming serious. "Don't let Court get to you, okay? She's just upset about not being in the competition with Duncan." He winked, and I chuckled. "So yeah, mellow out, man. Let her blow off some steam, and everything's coolio. Coolio?"

"Heh, heh, yeah. Coolio," I said back, smiling.

"Coolio. Catch you later, dude." With a wave, he walked back out the door.

Huh. That was interesting. I don't usually talk with Geoff much, so that was kinda cool.

But he had a point. Courtney probably was just a little mad that she didn't get the million dollars. After all, we all were kinda mad right away after the case race. Still, I wish she could've directed her anger on someone like, say, Chris McLean.

...Okay, she is, but I mean more of it.

-X-

Things thankfully started to cool down by the time we got our first recap of the season. Especially since Courtney wasn't around when Chris had arrived.

"Hey, guys. Check this out." He held up a videotape. "Not one, but TWO future episodes of Total Drama Action in this bad boy. Man, I've been loving the twos all week. Must be tw--wait, that doesn't work." Before I could ask, he handed Billy the videotape. "Whatever. Just watch this."

Without another word, he left, which was alright with me. The sooner I get to see Gwen, the better!

...That sounded weird, I know.

We all met in one of the lounges in the hotel. Just like last season, we were given these rough cuts so we could stay in the loop. This was basically the reason why we needed to sign confidentiality agreements, as we actually had contact with the outside world this time around.

Everything started, as far as we know, in front of the film lot, when the bus arrived at the studio. However, judging by the moods of some of the castmates, more probably happened beforehand that we weren't able to see. I could only imagine what Gwen and Heather had gone through on the ride; they seemed to be more on edge than everyone else, even trying to leave the bus at the same time. Who would've thought leaving a bus alone would cause so much tension?

"Aw, poor Harold...'s Rubik's cube," Noah said solemnly. "What a waste of one of life's simplest, yet most challenging puzzles."

"It's pretty easy if you just switch the stickers," Geoff pointed out, and Noah just groaned in annoyance.

The castmates weren't even sure if they were at the right place at first. Even despite the fact that it was the crappiest looking film lot they probably have ever seen just by standing at the entrance, the lack of Chris McLean made them confused.

Heather wanted to leave right away; interestingly enough, Leshawna ended up convincing her to stay with the thought of the million dollar grand prize. Beth spoke at one point, which led to a chain reaction of compliments, as Beth's braces had been removed between seasons.

"Congratulations, Beth. No more annoying 'lithp'," Noah commented.

As if on cue, once the compliments ended Chris had finally shown up in a sort of cart--don't ask me if it has a special name. The castmates got in the passenger car, and Chris drove them into the film lot. Driving through several of the sets, the television producer explained the season to them. All of the challenges would be movie-based (as we had a pretty good idea of already). He also began explaining the eliminations, and raised up his windows (interesting how they're only fitted to the driver's car and not the passenger car) as the exhaust from the crappy "lame-o-sine" nearly suffocated the castmates.

"Such a caring individual is Chris McLean," Noah said sarcastically.

The quote-unquote "caring individual" then pointed out the make-up trailer, which would be the new confession can for this season. Then, after an amusing trip to Chef Hatchet's tent, Chris finished explaining the set-up for future eliminations: the Guilded Chris awards ceremony, complete with a trophy in Chris's likeness as the new marshmallow. Likewise, it was also a tasty treat (in reality, each statuette of Chris was foiled chocolate).

So basically, so far it had been just like season one. Two teams compete, one team loses and kicks off a contestant. Pretty simple.

The "fun" really started, though, once Chris had driven the cart unto a set resembling a city. Remember that animatronic monster that went out with Izzy? Well...

**RRROOWWRRR!**

Yeah.

"Come on, dudes! He's yanking our chains!" Apparently, Duncan wasn't intimidated by this beast.

And that's when Chris had to slam on the brakes, because a radio tower just fell in front of the cart.

"Cutting it close there, Chris?" Courtney asked, peeved.

"Yeah! Lindsay could've gotten hurt," Tyler added.

Chris revealed that the first challenge was a monster movie challenge.

"No friggin' crap, Chris!" Noah shouted.

The animatronic monster walked by the group...

...and DJ fainted. Again.

Chris explained the challenge in more detail so the castmates knew what they were supposed to do: they had to find their way to the cast trailers before the monster reached them. He also revealed the person controlling the monster: Chef Hatchet.

"So... Chef took Izzy out on a date?" I asked.

"Technically, I guess soo, eh," Ezekiel confirmed.

Onscreen, Chris started off the challenge. "Aaaaaand action!"

No one budged.

"Why do I get a _Rat Race _vibe from this?" I pondered.

"And so far, Lindsay's winning 'cause she's _nearest the front of the cart!"_ Tyler jokingly mocked the billionaire from the movie.

Interestingly enough, once they realized that meant "go", they fought their way off the cart in pursuit of their goal.

It wasn't long before the monster really made his presence known, and the once determined contestants were now running for their lives.

"I bet you don't wish to be there now, Court," I said, earning a glare from the former CIT. Apparently, she disagreed.

The majority of the cast had been chased unto the beach set as DJ finally woke up from his fainting spell. He was still a little shaken and traumatized from the sight of the monster. Chris, surprisingly enough, tried to comfort the big guy... by patting him on the head.

"Look at that smug smile," Noah pointed out. "He doesn't really care."

"Didn't fool us," Geoff chuckled.

Back on the beach set, Izzy was the first to be captured by the monster. Of course, considering Izzy was involved, it was also the most entertaining capture.

"Who else could get captured by a monster after referencing a kid's game and being thrown into a cherry picker?" Noah asked.

"He throws them in a bounce house?" Eva asked. "Chef gets lamer every time we see him."

"You know, I don't remember much of this challenge," Bridgette noted. Then we saw her and Geoff on the screen.

"I wonder why," Noah muttered.

The action then was put on, surprise-surprise, Gwen and Trent. I took a deep breath, trying to keep as quiet as possible. I wanted to prepare myself for anything: them kissing, them saying something about me (good or bad), Courtney saying something bad about Gwen. But nothing happened, aside from Justin telling the two to "follow the good-looking people." I wasn't very happy with that statement. Gwen's much hotter than him if you ask me.

Once the action was put back on the kissing couple, Bridgette noted her embarrassment. "Wow... we really do make out a lot, don't we?"

"Nothing wrong with it, babe," Geoff assured her. "I mean, sure it cost us a million bucks, but at least we still have each other, right?"

"Aw... that's so sweet..." We didn't hear much from Bridgette and Geoff after that, except for some disturbingly wet noises.

The action was brought back to Gwen, Trent, and Duncan, who were back on a city-based set. And unfortunately, Gwen was the victim of ironic statements.

"And Gwen opens her big fat mouth," Courtney said.

"And Courtney opens her big fat mouth," I retaliated.

"Screw you!"

"No thanks, Court. I'd never steal you away from Duncan."

"I am NOT into Duncan!"

"...She's still denying it?" Noah asked.

"Dude," Tyler pointed out, "you're not the best person to point that out."

"...Are you implying something?"

"I'm implying that you should let it go. It happened. Big deal. Cody's not letting it get to him."

"Nope," I confirmed. "You guys know I'm all for the ladies. Except Courtney."

"Thank God," I heard her mutter.

Geoff and Bridgette had been the next ones captured by the monster. Of course the kissing couple is out. Isn't that a staple for survival movies?

Leshawna and Harold were captured next. Unfortunately for the nerd, unlike Geoff and Bridgette, Leshawna didn't exactly share the love as they were dropping into the moon bounce.

Apparently, at this point, no one had any idea where they were supposed to go, as several of the castmates were now back on the beach set. Of those castmates were Gwen, Trent, and Justin, the latter being the next victim of the monster.

And the monster... "fell in love" with the guy.

Chef, you weird little--er--big man.

Unlike the others before him, Justin wasn't dropped into the bouncy castle--he was set down gently. Even more still, everyone in the inflated prison couldn't keep their eyes off the male model.

"Alright, this is ridiculous," Noah muttered in annoyance. "Justin's not _that_ hot."

"Either you're in denial, or you just proved to us that you're straight," Tyler joked. "Congratulations."

Heather and Lindsay were the next to go, leaving only six contestants left in the running. And the monster had followed Beth to the city set-up, where three more of those six were walking through. And guess who was in this group again.

"It's always fun to see DJ run," Noah said, smirking. And no, that wasn't the person I was talking about, obviously.

The four stopped running from the monster, realizing the mechanized creature was too fast for them. As they looked up at the creature, Trent took the leadership role. "Everyone! Follow me!"

Thus, Gwen was the next to use the confessional, noting how great a boyfriend Trent was and... something. I didn't catch it all. It was hard to pay attention with that adorable smile on her face...

Trent decided to rush them into one of the buildings, and they quickly noticed that... it was actually a flat piece of wood held up by support beams at the bottom. After Trent pointed out the obvious, Gwen appeared in the confessional yet again to jokingly note his "exceptional powers of observation."

I chuckled. "Boy. Nothing gets past Trent, huh?"

"Nope. Not a thing," Tyler chortled.

Then, with one swift move of its hand, the four were captured by the monster.

"And another four bites the dust," Noah joked.

"...I didn't see 'em eatin' dirt, eh," Ezekiel said, confused.

"Homeschool, you need to listen to more than just hip hop and... whatever you used to listen to," Eva told him, and he blushed a deep red.

Onscreen, Duncan and Owen appeared behind an obviously fake car prop. Unfortunately for them, Chef found them right away, but only managed to grab Duncan. Owen, excitedly, ran off to find the cast trailers, but he didn't get very far before exhaustion hit him like a shot. Owen fell face first onto the sidewalk... right in front of the monster.

"He's done for," Eva said sullenly.

But despite that, he really wasn't.

"PFFT!" Tyler broke out into hysterics. "Owen's too heavy! That's just rich!"

"Poor Chef's gonna be feeling that electric shock for quite some time," I chortled.

Now, all Owen had to do was find the trailers. ...And it took nearly ten and a half hours, according to a just awoken group of contestants within the moon bounce. Owen, nearly passed out in front of the inflated prison, responded by pricking it with a pin, freeing the castmates.

"Looks like everyone had the case of epic fail here," I pointed out.

Speaking of fail, the monster returned yet again, crushing one of the trailers by stepping on it. It set down Izzy, who told the others about their date.

"That date was real, by the way," Katie told Geoff and Bridgette.

"Seriously?" Geoff asked; he and Bridgette looked surprised to hear this.

"Yep. Sadie, Cody, Zeke, and I saw them at a restaurant together." She sighed. "They make such a cute couple."

Sadie nodded. "I know! I love 'em!"

"I'm gonna ship that pairing now," Katie informed us.

"Ooh! Let's start a club!"

"Oh, we totally should!"

Chris appeared out of the non-crushed trailer (I wonder if Gwen was upset about that) and revealed the next challenge to the castmates: the winner of this second challenge would get to choose which trailer he or she wanted.

You'd think it'd be obvious which one would be picked, right?

...Well...

**-X-**

**For those of you that were hoping for a long chapter, WHOA, DOGGY, you got one. XD**

**There are three reasons why I chose this title for this and the next chapter. The first reason is because the show "begins" in this chapter; as such, it's like whenever Chris shoots a gun to start a race (despite the fact that he doesn't have a gun in this situation). The second reason is a metaphor: Chris is about to pull the trigger and shoot the GwenxTrent pairing in an important artery, where it'll be left in a pool of its own blood to die a slow and painful death. The third reason relies on another meaning of the word trigger: something that causes something else to happen. Remember when I mentioned through the story that mental disorders tend to be caused by **_**both**_** childhood experiences **_**and**_** "triggers"? Well... my theory is that what happens in the upcoming chapter is what triggered Trent's OCD, which would explain why he seemed normal until after that point.**


	6. Chris Pulls the Trigger, Pt 2

_**Façade: Behind the Scenes**_

_**Chapter Five: Chris Pulls the Trigger, Part 2**_

Within the midst of Hell, there was a Heaven, at least for Owen, once the castmates had entered the tent.

"It's too good to be true," Noah said cynically. "Why would he give them real food?"

"He did it once before," I reminded him. "Remember the Awa--"

"I'm trying to repress all memories of the Awake-a-thon, Cody."

Well, despite all possible suspicion, Owen still dove right into the food on the table, engulfing everything in sight, despite Chris's warnings. Now THAT was a red flag and a half.

"Did... did he just unhinge his jaw?" I asked, startled and... honestly quite afraid.

Once Owen finished the, uh, meal, Chris revealed the truth about what Owen just ate.

"He should be dead," Noah muttered in an astonished tone.

"Dude's a machine," Tyler chuckled. "How does he do it?"

"How did he mistaken all that for real food?" Sadie pondered.

"Wax and sawdust certainly don't taste like chicken," Courtney added.

"And how would you know that?" Tyler asked, smirking at the former CIT.

"Wanna taste my fist?" she threatened.

"Wanna taste _my_ fist?" Eva repeated, and Courtney shut up.

At any rate, Owen won the competition, which was to find a key amidst the food (which he burped up), and the big foamcore-filled behemoth had first dibs on the new trailers.

Surely he'd pick the one intact, right?

Well...

"I choose... the squashed one!"

The girls lit up and the guys protested at Owen's "intelligent" decision. When questioned, Owen explained, "It has more character!"

The girls' excitement soon ended, though, as Chris and Chef had decided to ruin their fun by squashing the intact trailer as well.

Heh... Seems like Owen lucked out after all.

-X-

"Well, looks like you lucked out after all, Owen."

The big lug, on the ground for quite some time due to the foamcore taking its toll in his gut, looked up to see Beth standing over him. Chortling, he tried to get back to a standing position, failing miserably. Having rolled onto his stomach, he decided to respond. "What can I say? Now both trailers have character."

Beth rolled her eyes. "I don't get you sometimes, Owen." She looked up at Chef, who was repairing the two trailers. "Say, do you think you'll win this time?"

"Oh, will I?" the big lug asked confidently. "You bet! I won that hundred grand once, I'm gonna win it again... uh... a hundred fold?" He rubbed his head in thought, then his sides in pain. "Yeah, I think I'll just go with that."

Elsewhere, the castmates were trying to find things to do to pass the time as they waited for the trailers to be rebuilt. Geoff and Bridgette were (of course) making out. Gwen and Trent were talking, looking like they probably _would_ make out but were refraining (dude, Trent, why you holdin' back, man?). Duncan was having a small one-sided prank war with Harold. Lindsay was trying to take Heather's wig. Overall, nothing out of the ordinary here.

Maybe this season won't be so bad after all.

Heh, heh... I wish, right?

Once the trailers were just about finished, Chris got the castmates together and told them to get some sleep, as they would have to wake up at 6:00. And we thought 7 AM was bad...

It's interesting how easy it was for the guys to pick their bunks, while the girls were having so much trouble choosing. It didn't help that Heather was one of them. Really, I think she was the only reason it was a problem in the first place.

"Just pick a durn bunk already, eh." Even Zeke was frustrated by this girl.

The girls ended up drawing straws (or in this case Lindsay's make-up brushes), and, as it turns out, Heather ended up having a bunk all to herself.

"Yeah, we've really gotta work on our math," Gwen noted, realizing the last few minutes were a real waste of time.

"You think?" I hit the cynical Noah in the arm. "Ow! What was that for?"

-X-

The next morning, at 5:00, Chris cooked up a diabolical plan. He pulled out his megaphone, and...

"THIS IS YOUR 5 AM WAKE-UP CAAAAALL!!"

Of course, the castmates were woken up by this act, and Chris, the evil bastard that he is, told them he was kidding and they could go back to sleep.

"Can we please kill him and say it was an accident?" Eva asked. I think she was serious, too.

"I don't think the judicial system would like that," Noah replied.

After some final words for the audience to ponder, Chris had ended episode one. After a few seconds of black screen, the next one started.

At first, I was excited. I mean, so far the season wasn't so bad. I was expecting a lot of horrible things happening on the first day. It seemed rather mellow if you ask me.

Unfortunately, it wouldn't end that way...

But, if anything, at least it started out pretty whimsically... with a little montage put together by the handsome host from hell.

Our resulting laughter caused our kissing duo to break the status quo they established for themselves and look at the screen. They gasped as they saw themselves making out in a variety of places:

On the Guilded Chris awards ceremony stage.

Underneath the bleachers of said awards ceremony stage.

On top of the bleachers of said awards ceremony stage.

In Chris's tanning booth. That one's my personal favourite, by the way.

In one of the troughs of the Old West set.

In one of the troughs of the Old West set actually filled with slop.

On top of the water tower. Not kidding.

On top of a sleeping Chef Hatchet. Still not kidding. And by the way, the big dude sucks his thumb.

In the back of a random '67 Ford Mustang. Oh, the irony. Remember that one; I might bring that one up again later. And I'm not sure whose car that was, either. It might have been one of Chris's.

In the toll booth at the front of the film lot.

On the fake beach set... inside a giant animatronic monster footprint.

On top of Geoff's hat. Yeah, that one was kinda weird.

And finally... right here next to us. The duo were apparently so turned on by watching themselves make out onscreen that they began to do so yet again in our presence.

Alright, now for the real start of the episode.

"Of course... it has to start off with Chef's revolted food," Noah said cynically.

"At least it actually looks edible," Ezekiel pointed out.

"Just barely, but true."

"Who'd have thought Geoff and Bridgette would also start off the show with their little make-out-fest?" Tyler asked jokingly. Neither of the two cared enough about his statement to quit making out.

"And Gwen, once again, opens her big fat mouth," Courtney pointed out.

"You never learn, do you?" Noah muttered.

"The green mohawk dude opened his mouth first," Billy butted in, but quickly shut up again once Courtney glared at him, too.

"Oh, look at that," I noted. "Look at those two bonding. They make such a great couple, don't they, Courtney?" Alright, I know I'm teasing her, but... come on. Wouldn't you?

The freckled teen just growled. I was expecting more, to be honest.

"Insert sappy moment here," Noah said, referring to Trent and Gwen. He began to mock the musician. "Oh, we're not enemies, even though we're competing against each other for a million dollars."

"Noah, maybe I should kick _you_ out of the room tonight," I warned him. Probably considering his other options of places to sleep--Eva's room (enough said), Courtney's room (enough said), Geoff and Bridgette's room (would he get to sleep with all the slurping sounds?), Tyler and Zeke's room (that one might not be so bad, but I doubt any of the three wanted to sleep in the same bed as another guy), or Katie and Sadie's room (enough said... on his part, anyway)--he decided to drop the subject.

For the most part, the day seemed to start off with no real problems... until Owen stepped up to Chef's counter. "No eggs and bacon for me, Chef. I'll just have this--UBBF--nice bowl of prunes..."

Oh.

My.

God.

Judging by the looks on the castmates' faces, I wasn't the only one scared by this. I'm not even there--hell, this isn't even LIVE--and I was fearing for my life.

A cut to Owen's confessional confirmed our suspicions: the foamcore and wax was taking its toll.

Next, the video showed Chris entering the tent in the cheesiest way possible. I know he's the host, but does he have to always remind us that he's the host? ...Apparently so.

The television host didn't even try to be subtle about the genre that day's challenge was going to be about. He just flat out said it. "Aliens!"

Several sets of eyes lit up upon hearing this.

Chris gave Chef the spotlight for a moment, and the cook began to explain the "ingredients" of your basic alien-related movie: alien invasion, retaliation of the people, and the involvement of the military. Once he finished, without missing a beat he asked Chris where his paycheck was.

"If Chris doesn't pay that guy," Eva said, "he's probably gonna die."

"And that's a bad thing?" Noah questioned. Eva knew better not to answer.

Chris explained what the castmates had to do for their challenge: they had to retrieve an alien egg and bring it back to the trailers before being captured by the mama alien. And, in classic Chris style, he said, "The two fastest get to pick the teams this season."

Why do I say "classic Chris style"?

You remember us voting Izzy and Eva back onto the island, right?

What about us voting off Leshawna?

Chris didn't exactly specify if the two teens would simply choose who will be on what team, not necessarily setting in stone what teams the two will be on, or if it would be more like playground rules (you know, with "team captains"). And it was this unfortunate little non-explained detail that started a whole mess of troubles...

And no one caught on to it, especially not Gwen and Duncan, who seemed to be thrilled with dealing with a genre they knew best.

...And is it weird that I found her quoting that guy from _Alien Chunks _to be kinda... hot?

...

Ah, hell. You guys shouldn't be surprised by anything at this point.

Poor Trent, though. I felt kinda bad that Duncan just had to say something about Trent's alien movie of choice. I mean, sure, that movie may not be the best alien movie ever, but that's no reason to be a dick.

C'mon, Gwen. Defend your boy...friend...

...

...Or just leave him in his own sadness. Yeah, that works too.

"PFFT!!" Tyler burst out laughing at the sight of "Mama Alien" a few seconds later. He was not alone.

Chef, man, you really need to get a better job.

Finishing up his explanation, the smiling host gave the castmates GPS devices, then sent them on their way.

They hadn't even left the tent, and Duncan was already taunting Trent. "Consider your ass kicked, my friend."

"You're just worried I'm gonna whoop you, Duncan. Right Gwen?" Trent looked at her hopefully, but the horror showed in his eyes when she didn't respond.

Gwen! C'mon! Say something!

"You're awfully quiet, aren't you?" At first I thought Noah was commenting on Gwen not saying anything, but I soon found out that wasn't the case.

"If I do speak," said Courtney, "I'll only be giving you the satisfaction of hearing me scream violently at the TV. Why damage my vocal cords for some goth?"

"You never learn, do you?" Noah asked.

"Aren'tcha speakin' now, eh?" Ezekiel added.

"I'm just saying." She didn't add anything to that, instead holding her hands up defensively.

"You say a lot of things," I pointed out.

"Like how you'd let four people fall to their deaths for money," Tyler added. "I can't wait 'til you run for office. Let's see if you'll win when they start airing that clip over and over again."

"It was a moment of weakness!"

"For a moment of weakness, my neck was pretty sore by the strong hold you put on me," I recalled.

Courtney apparently had enough. "Here's an idea: we're here to watch a tape. Let's watch a freakin' tape. Sound good?" She turned angrily to Noah. "And remember who started this little argument."

"I wasn't the one that said 'Why damage my vocal cords for some goth' as if there was no one in here that liked her over me."

A cell phone found its target, AKA Noah's forehead. But then again, it couldn't have been too hard... that's a big target.

"Guys! Stop fighting!" Bridgette pleaded. "Let's just try to get along for a few minutes please?"

I turned to Noah, who just shrugged it off. Courtney glared something fierce at him, but soon brought her attention back to the screen.

Having been separated from Chris, the castmates used the GPS devices to determine which studio they had to enter. Somewhere in that... rather elaborate industrial set was a vat of alien eggs; the castmates just had to find it.

After an amusing bit of irony (and even dramatic irony, ironically) from Leshawna, Chris revealed he hadn't really left the castmates on their own. Though they probably still wish he had.

A few minutes had elapsed, and still no sign of Chef. Izzy was still telling crazy stories. Leshawna was still trying to keep Harold at bay. And Gwen was still quiet, away from Trent and with Duncan in close proximity.

Was I concerned? About Izzy's crazy stories? Pfft! Like half of them are real anyway. ...Nah, I'm kidding. Yes, I was concerned. Not because I was afraid of Court flipping her lid for virtually no reason, but because I was worried about Gwen and Trent. I don't think I even have to say anything regarding Gwen--I think by now you get it, and there will be plenty of opportunities for me to ramble later. And Trent's a really cool guy--one of my buds, ya know? And seeing them like this was like... It was awful, plain and simple. It just seemed like she was guilty for some reason. I don't see why she would be. I mean, it's not Trent's fault that he simply hasn't seen any great alien movies. Maybe her mind was preoccupied about something. That awkward feeling couldn't have lasted this long, could it?

...Well, looks like I rambled anyway.

...Bah, I'm looking too far into this. She's probably just determined to get the challenge over and done with. And with Duncan being the alien movie expert, it made sense that they were going to work together on this.

So yeah, probably nothing to it.

ANYWAY, only a few minutes had elapsed when things started to get a little suspenseful...

Of course, Owen had to ruin it with his gassy antics, but one had to wonder where the heck those slurping sounds were coming from!

"It must be Chef," Duncan noted, leaned up against the wall, after a short process of elimination. "You wanna run?" He turned to Gwen, grinning. "Or you wanna kick some alien butt?" He landed a fist on his palm to illustrate his preferred tactic.

"Let's kick some alien butt!" Gwen said enthusiastically. Well, at least she speaking now.

The mood had been interrupted, though. Trent cleared his throat, and Gwen suddenly appeared to have found herself in yet another awkward state. "Trent? Any thoughts?" she asked, probably figuring he wanted to be included.

And he was. "...Yeah, let's kick some alien butt!"

And Noah commented. "...Wow. Did they not just say that? Honestly?"

After the group's reluctance became greatly apparent, Beth finally snapped. She stomped past the others, ranting the entire way about not hiding from life after dealing with her braces for so eight years (very motivational, I thought). Turning the corner, she stood face to face with the producer of the disturbing, ominous noises.

Or, should I say, producers?

"It's just Bridgette and Geoff!" Beth called out to the group, who, after the anticlimactic reveal, actually seemed disappointed that it wasn't really Chef.

Our Geoff raspberried at the screen. "They're just jealous that they don't have an uber-babe to make out with." He turned to Bridgette and smirked. "Like I do."

"Awwww..." And there they go again.

-X-

It wasn't long before the castmates began to realize that Chef's absence, combined with them all still being together, was not necessarily a good thing. It certainly didn't help with the suspense, either. Neither did the "danger" alarm that soon followed.

The first to split from the group were Lindsay, Beth, Leshawna, and Justin; Lindsay seemed confident in knowing which way to go, and the other three (or arguably all four) had no idea what the heck they were doing.

Gwen, Trent, Duncan, and DJ left next to locate the boiler room. Geoff and Bridgette almost went with them, but Duncan prevented the kissing couple from possibly hindering their progress.

Owen, Harold, and Izzy... were left with Heather, who was actually trying to be reasonable. Still, I probably wouldn't have trusted her either if I were in their shoes. Heck, I didn't trust her just sitting here. You saw what she did last season.

Unfortunately, Heather was never given a chance to prove herself. They were the first to be confronted by Mama Chef.

Harold was the first to go, despite his confid--ah, who am I kidding? His ego.

Courtney chortled. "What a loser."

Eh, I'll let her have this one. Not worth an argument, and apparently Noah and Tyler agreed.

Owen was next to go, on request; the prunes had been taking effect.

Next up: Izzy versus Chef, part two, both packing some seriously massive paintball guns. Unfortunately, the big cook was, yet again, the ultimate victor. ...Damn, that sounded nerdy.

Though it was kinda freaky learning Chef, indeed, had killed before. Perhaps he was in a war after all.

...Or he could just be plain crazy. That works too.

-X-

An obligatory Chris-is-planning-to-screw-everything-up scene later, Geoff and Bridgette had become Chef's newest victims.

"...Chef was in love once?" Tyler asked, shocked.

"With his hand, maybe," Noah quipped.

"No, that's Chris, hands down."

"Did you come up with that pun all by yourself?"

"What pun?"

-X-

"Alright, according to this thing, the boiler room should be--"

"'According to this thing'?" Duncan interrupted Gwen, a sly smirk. "It's like you were trying to sound like a nerd and failed."

Gwen gave him an annoyed glance, but shook it off and said, "What's wrong with being a little nerdy?"

"Absolutely nothing," Trent chimed in, and the couple shared a sweet smile. "I mean, some of our friends are a little on the geeky side, and they're good people."

The punk rolled his eyes. "Oh, yes. Four-Eyes, Forehead, and Homeschool are at the top of your list of best buds."

"...Well, okay, one guy," Trent admitted. "But Harold, Noah, and Homeschool aren't so bad. Noah can get a little annoying--"

"Hey!" Noah shouted at the screen, and most of us laughed.

"--but I doubt they deserve any of the treatment you give them."

Gwen tried to break the two up. "Guys, maybe we should focus on finding the eggs."

"Who does that leave...?" Duncan rubbed the back of his head, before a light bulb seemed to turn on above it. "Oh, don't tell me you're talking about Sir Horndog, the first." He chuckled, turning to Gwen. "Seriously, I don't see why you called that little pipsqueak of all people sane." You son of a...

"Guys..."

Trent looked a little pissed about this. "She called Owen sane too, if you recall. And for the record, _his name is--"_

"Guys! Eggs!"

"You might want to keep it down," DJ finally spoke up, shuddering. "Mama Chef could hear you."

"Exactly!" Gwen scolded them, before realizing she was louder than both of them. Covering her mouth with her free hand, she held up the GPS device again to see where they were. Her voice now much quieter, she said, "Alright, the boiler room should be just around the corner. Let's get in, get out, and get the hell out of here!"

"After you, Sunshine." I wasn't sure if it was a term of endearment or not, but the look on Trent's face after Duncan said that said he wasn't so happy to hear that. Nonetheless, they were almost finished with this challenge, so he probably figured that they might as well get it over with, as he didn't say a word.

The four trudged forward, Duncan decided to watch out for their rears (an unnecessary joke from him obviously followed) from the rear. They came upon the supposed door to the boiler room, and peered inside.

Something tells me they found the place.

Of course, the large collection of eggs below the floor confirmed this theory.

"WOO!" Courtney and I both cheered. "Go Duncan/Gwen!" **[1]**

Both of us startled, we turned to each other, and to my surprise (hey, don't look at me like that--how many times do I have to remind you of the hot air balloon thing?) she smiled at me. "Well, at least we can agree the right team found the eggs."

"Oh, absolutely," I agreed, smiling back. I wish she'd be like that more often. But you know... maybe Bridgette's right, then. Maybe there's a sweet girl underneath that evil, sometimes (I admit--then again, how can I not?) sexy exterior.

Back to the action. As Gwen's team found the eggs, Mama Alien found the queen bee. One vengeful blast from Chef caused Heather to lose her current most prized possession: her wig.

"Poor Heather," Tyler said, but his chuckles destroyed any chance of believable sympathy.

"Laughing at her misfortune means you're no better than she is," Noah spoke up, but Tyler just scoffed.

"After what she did to Lindsay last season, you expect me to feel bad for her about anything?" He turned to me. "Cody, you can back me up on this, right?"

I nodded, though I did feel a little bad that Heather lost her wig. Still, Tyler had a point. After all she did to Gwen last season... You reap what you sow, Heather. That's all I'm saying.

One group of Lindsay, Leshawna, Justin, and Beth ending up in a "death trap" later, coupled with some weirdly disturbing words from Justin (which for some reason reminded me of Big the Cat) and some big-time swooning from Beth (and I'm talking BIG-time swooning. Which is weird because didn't she have a bo--WHOA-HO! Almost got ahead of myself there), the action was brought back to the dream team. DJ celebrated their victory a little too early, but Duncan reminded him that they needed to take the eggs back to the trailers.

Duncan checked the GPS again. They weren't alone.

"Quick, lower me down," Gwen instructed to Trent, and he obeyed.

...Okay, is it weird of me to like seeing Gwen upside-down? And please, be honest.

SPLAT! Oh, nice...

"Ever heard of plastic props?!" Gwen shouted to the camera as she picked up another egg.

Trent pulled her back up, and she placed the egg on the floor. "Alright, we should get three more, in case Chef finds us," the musician pointed out, and Gwen nodded in agreement.

I smiled (probably goofily). It was really nice to see the awkwardness had passed.

Three more egg retrievals later, the boiler room door opened, and an angry Chef Hatchet appeared.

DJ was next to fall.

"Save yourselves!" DJ shouted as his team ran to the exit.

"Which way?!" Gwen shouted. It didn't matter how loud they were anymore; Chef was already on their tail.

"I don't know!" Duncan yelled back. "I can't exactly check the GPS when I'm holding an egg and running from a psychopathic cook! If you can CALL him a cook!"

"This way!" Trent recalled, taking them down a side walkway. "I remember walking through here earlier!"

"Are you sure? Everything's all blue and industrial! Everything looks the same!"

"Trust me! I know where I'm going!"

Sure enough, the musician had ultimately led them outside the studio, with Chef still a ways behind.

They ran out unto a Western set, where Chris was flying overhead in his helicopter.

"Attention, civilians," Chris spoke into his megaphone. "The military is here to protect you now."

At this point, Chef had finally caught up with the teens, who had been frozen in place since spotting Chris.

"Unfortunately," the host continued, "we can't let you leave with any alien eggs."

"But we're supposed to take the alien eggs!" Trent protested. "That's what you said!"

"Right. I did," Chris laughed, and he dropped a dual set of slime bombs.

"Incoming!" Duncan shouted, and the four jumped out of the way. Apparently even Chef had no idea Chris was going to do that.

"Ooh! That must have been what we saw that day, remember?" Katie recalled.

"Ooh yeah! I remember that!" Sadie added.

Chris chortled onscreen as his helicopter was hit with the slime. "Woo! Glad I don't have to clean it up."

The damage had been done... for the most part. Nearly all of the surrounding area was drenched in green goo. Duncan himself was covered from head to toe.

But Gwen and Trent managed to get off clean, in more ways than one. Having hid behind a few barrels, they remained slime-free.

"Does this mean I'm out?" Duncan asked in disbelief.

"Too bad, so sad," Gwen taunted. "More money for me."

"Ooh-hoo-hoo, down for the count!"

And now, confession cam time with Trent.

"Duncan is always acting like such a tough guy. Ooh, you got a mohawk." Is it even a mohawk? He's got hair underneath it, I see. "Oh, you're so tough, bud." He laughed. "Yeah, hairspray's really manly. I love seeing Gwen stick it to Duncan. She's so awesome. I'd do anything for her."

"Sounds like someone we know," Noah muttered slyly. "I can see why you're buds with him, Cody. You two have, like, the same brain."

"Yeah, you could be, like, BMFFLs!" Sadie squeed.

I chuckled. "Eh, I don't know about that. Judging by that pic Duncan found on the internet, enough people already think I'm gay as it is." As Noah groaned (which caused the girls, and me, to giggle) I turned back to the screen just in time to see Gwen start to panic. I grew concerned as she started feeling around her neck and upper chest.

"My necklace! It's gone!"

Trent, who had been trying to retrieve their forgotten alien eggs, found himself in a dilemma as he spotted the necklace over a grate in the floor. It was slowly but surely sliding through, much like Heather's wig back in the industrial set. Meanwhile, one of the alien eggs was sitting on a large wooden plank that fell on Chef Hatchet. As Chef stirred, the egg wobbled. Humpty Dumpty was about to fall.

Trent had a choice to make. The necklace or the egg.

Guess which one I was rooting f-- "The necklace, dude! Get the necklace!" Too late.

Noah disagreed. "If they win the challenge, Gwen could win the whole thing and buy a new necklace."

"What if she doesn't win the whole thing?" I pointed out.

"That thing's probably rare enough," Tyler added.

"It's just a necklace," Courtney said with a shrug. "And it's not even that pretty if you ask me."

As our opinions were mixed, so was Trent's thoughts, as it seemed. Back and forth, back and forth, he had no idea what to do.

But in the end, as the necklace fell, he lunged for the grate and managed to catch it in mid-fall.

"WOO!" I stood up, pointing at the screen in a congratulatory manner. "GO TRENT!"

"Eh." Noah remained indifferent.

The screen changed to a confession with Gwen, who commented on Trent's selfless act. "I know this is gonna sound really girly," I've got nothing wrong with that, heehee, "but I was seriously touched when Trent chose my necklace over the egg." Her "giddyness" didn't last, unfortunately. "Most guys would have gone for the win." The unfortunate truth indeed. ...Though I really hope she doesn't think I'm one of those guys...

The action went back to the challenge, where Duncan admitted he actually was one of those guys.

"He better not have that frame of mind when he's out with me," Courtney said without thinking, then quickly covered her mouth in embarrassment. As all eyes turned to her, she tried to defend herself. "You didn't hear that. I didn't say anything."

"Look, I don't know why you're still denying it," Tyler said. "I mean, what is this? Some sort of on-off thing?"

"She's like a light switch in that respect," Noah added.

While the egg on the board broke over Chef's head, Gwen was shown to be pretty thankful about Trent choosing the necklace. In fact, she decided to let him keep it.

"She's not even going to keep it after all that?" Courtney asked.

"It's the thought that counts," I told her.

"Meh."

Onscreen, Chris parachuted down from his heli--wait, who's piloting the helicopter then? "You three gave it a valiant effort. But, you're still losers!"

As the host laughed in their faces, Trent spotted something where Chef had been lying earlier: the other two eggs. They weren't damaged after all. He ran over to pick them up, as the big man in the alien costume sat nearby; apparently he hadn't even noticed the eggs. The cook got up and tried to grab Trent, but the musician easily dodged him (without even trying) and ran with Gwen to the trailers.

Chris walked up to the cook, a little peeved that someone actually won this challenge. "Can't you do anything right?"

"Where's my money?! Hmm?! GIVE ME MY MONEY!!"

The host ran for his life.

-X-

The other castmates, who had been escorted back to the trailers by some of the interns, waited for the final three competitors to come back. They had no idea who, if anyone, was going to win, but they were about to find out.

Panting heavily, Gwen and Trent reached the trailers with eggs in hand, looking about ready to pass out from all the running. They quickly perked up, though, when Chris announced their victory.

"We have our two winners! Our only two winners." At that, a pissed slime-covered Duncan walked past him toward the others. "The rest of you really stink." Probably literally. He turned the attention back to the beaming couple. "As our winners, Gwen and Trent will now be able to pick their teams, which means... they'll be competing against each other this season."

...What?!

WHAT?!

...No...

Chris, come on... you can't be serious...

I looked at Gwen's expression, and in nanoseconds my heart was torn to pieces.

Please, Chris... you can't be serious...

...Unfortunately, he was.

Thus, the devil had pulled his trigger, and it would only be a matter of time before we knew how fatal the bullet wound was.

**-X-**

**[1] I hope I don't have to explain that the characters aren't cheering for the pairing. But in case I do, Courtney's saying "Go Duncan!" and Cody's saying "Go Gwen!"**

**-X-**

**How's that for a warm and fuzzy ending? ...Yeah, it was sarcasm. Even though I don't really like the pairing... at all, I couldn't help but feel just awful for the two in that scene. The look on Gwen and Trent's faces said it all, really. Nothing good was going to come out of them competing against each other.**

**Oh, and you see all this blank space here?**

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**That's to symbolize what I own here. I own... nothing. WOW! Shocker! I mean, this dude is writing fanfiction, after all. Why would he own this? Ah, I miss having fun with these disclaimers...**

**Anyway, yeah. Total Drama is owned by Fresh TV. Y'all best recognize.**

**Also... LONG ASS CHAPTER! There, that should keep you satisfied until the next update. ;)**


	7. Would Duncan Be Her Best Boy?

_**Façade: Behind the Scenes**_

_**Chapter Six: Would Duncan Be Her Best Boy?**_

"Hi, guys!"

...

"Guys?"

...

"...Come on, don't tell me you're not happy to see me. Because then Izzy will have to do something crazy to get your attentions."

"Won't you anyway?" Noah asked.

"Yes. ...Alright, what the hell? I thought with Geoff here everyone would be partying like crazy."

I looked up and around, my head still not leaving my folded arms from the table. Geoff and Bridgette were still making out. Courtney was on the phone with one of her lawyers. Ezekiel had Billy's MP3 player and looked like he was in his own little world. Eva had her own MP3 player. Katie and Sadie were commenting on how cute Geoff and Bridgette looked. Noah was reading his book. Tyler was drumming his hands on the table. As for me? Well... I was still worried about what I saw happened to Gwen and Trent earlier.

I turned to Izzy, forcing a smile. "Hey, we're happy to see you. Not happy you lost, mind you, but... you know..."

"I'm not happy to see you," Noah admitted, not looking up from his book.

"...Well I am, anyway."

"Aw..." She glomped me from behind. "You're too cute."

I smiled a little more genuinely for a moment as she sat down, but I quickly frowned again.

She tilted her head. "You okay, Cochise?"

Before I could speak, Noah did it for me. "He's upset that Gwen and Trent are on different teams."

"So? What, you think it's going to be too much and they'll split up or something?"

"The... thought had crossed my mind," I admitted, resting my chin on my arms. Man, why did this have to happen? She--uh, they looked devastated! And I didn't blame them, either.

"Well, look on the bright side!" There's a bright side to this? "If they break up, you might have a chance!"

It might have been on impulse, or perhaps there really was a reason behind it, but I rolled my eyes. "She doesn't like me like that. You know that."

"That never stopped you before," she said, winking slyly at me.

I gave Izzy a stern look, before smirking back. Well, she does have a point... "Still," I said, frowning again, "I know she doesn't want to be with me, and I'm okay with that." I put my hands up in defence, but Noah's scoffs caused my arms to quickly retreat.

"Really?" Her sly grin would not die. "But let's say something does happen, and Gwen ends up liking you for whatever reason. Maybe she finally realizes you're a beast in bed. OR perhaps she starts getting wild yaoi fantasies of you and Noah like I do." She doesn't really care to hide it, does she? "And it starts turning her on and she wants in on the action. But for some reason, she starts liking you. Then what?"

I blinked a few times. Well, that answer should be honest, you would think. "Well, if she liked me back, then yeah. Of course I'd want to hook up with her."

"Aha!" Izzy pointed an accusing finger at me. "So you DO want her and Trent to break up!"

"What?!" Horrified, I held my hands up in defence again. "NO! No! I don't want that to happen!"

"Izzy, for the love of all things sane, please go away before Cody starts requiring therapy," Noah said.

"Oh, alright," she caved in, walking away toward Geoff and Bridgette's direction.

"Izzy, why do you torture us so?" Noah questioned before addressing me. "Hey, Cody. You said you and the twins went to an arcade or something the other day, right?"

"Yeah."

"Mind showing me where it is tomorrow? It's been a while since I've played a good arcade game."

"Are there anymore good arcade games?" I joked, but he took it seriously.

"No. It's mostly just racing games now," he scoffed. "Whatever happened to the old Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles game or The Simpsons? Those were good games, especially when you consider most knock-off games these days."

I chuckled. "I remember wanting to play those games all the time when I was younger, but my mom was like, 'You don't get tickets from those! Don't you want a prize?'"

"Meh," Noah shrugged. "Unless you were an arcade whiz, most of those prizes sucked anyway."

"Yeah, it's not like I'm going to get 2,000 tickets for the lava lamp in one day. Let's see if I can win a silly straw! Won't that be fun?"

"Oh, joy."

-X-

"Holy crap, they actually have the old Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles game here."

"And pinball," I pointed out.

Noah's eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets. "...This is a freaking awesome arcade."

"Glad you approve." I held up a few dollar bills. "So, how much change do you need?"

"You don't have to--"

"Relax, it's Izzy's money," I told him, smirking. "She's treating us. I think she's expecting we're going to do, uh... something else. You know Izzy."

"...Where did Izzy get money?"

"Oh, she's planning on getting this new talk show thing set up," I explained. "I take it she's not expecting to use all the money she was given though."

"It's not like explosives are that expensive if you know where to look," Noah said, "and Izzy probably knows where to look." Shrugging it off, he took the money from me. "Well, as long as she's paying, might as well use it."

-X-

I'm glad Noah asked to go to the arcade with me. Heck, I needed something to get my mind off of what had happened on the show, and it worked. By the way, Noah and I kicked ass in that TMNT game. It was actually the first time either of us had enough quarters on hand to get past Krang, let alone win the game. It was also the first time we had people crowding up behind us asking for autographs and (much to our dismay) asking for us to kiss each other while we were playing the game. That... kinda freaked me out, but I guess that's the price for becoming famous, right? And besides, it still helped keep my mind off of TDA, so that's a plus. But I digress.

Later that evening, I would hear a little more news about Izzy's plans for her new show. She snuck up on me at the pool, telling me that she had gotten Geoff and Bridgette to agree to host the talk show. According to the redhead, Bridgette thought it'd be a great way to connect with the fans, and Geoff was just excited he was going to be on TV again.

Izzy also mentioned that she was going to use some of the budget for rounding up some Total Drama fans in the Toronto area. Considering that by this point Total Drama Island, though not finished, was a huge hit, it wouldn't nor shouldn't be that hard to find people wanting spoilers on season two. These fans would also have to sign confidentiality agreements, though I'm not sure how many of them actually kept quiet.

However, I would be surprised that when she said "round up" she actually meant advertising. I was expecting her to buy some rope and branding irons.

Then again, Izzy was never known for being predictable.

-X-

It was a long day of handing out fliers and nearly being run over by crazed fans, but Izzy, Tyler, Katie, Sadie, and I managed to survive and return to the hotel just in time to see Chris walking into the building.

Automatically, the memory of Gwen and Trent being separated had rushed into my brain. "Aw, man..."

Tyler misinterpreted me. "I know. I don't like him either."

-X-

Izzy sighed happily as we were getting ready to watch the new tape. "It's been a while since I've gotten to see one of these."

"Izzy, that was only, what, two, three weeks ago?" Noah pointed out.

"To me, that's a while."

The episode started with Chris giving the contestants another wake-up call. At four in the morning.

Damn, is that what real celebrities have to deal with? No wonder some of them are assholes.

"I don't know what their problem was," Izzy said with a shrug. "They should have a cheery attitude when they wake up in the morning. Like me!"

"I think you were a little too cheery, Izzy," Noah droned.

No, their challenge wasn't starting that early. Chris just wanted to get them plenty of time to eat breakfast before the sun came up. Oh joy.

"Yes, because they need all that time to not eat the food."

"Noah, shut up," Eva threatened. I'm not sure if he really was intimidated or if he just didn't care enough to continue talking, but he actually did shut up.

As I watched the screen, I couldn't help but notice the awkward... uh... vibe between a once happy couple. Yeah, they still sat across from each other, as if nothing was wrong, but the fact that neither of them would look at the other without quickly turning away was quite obvious.

It didn't help that Duncan had sat down next to Gwen... and put an arm around her. "Hey, you feelin' alright, Sunshine?"

"Her name is Gwen."

The two looked up at the musician across from them, both startled that he finally spoke. "Was I talking to you, Trent?" the punk asked before turning his attention back to Gwen. "So, what's up? You look like crap."

"Thanks for the compliment," Gwen sarcastically muttered. "And I'm fine. Just tired, cranky, and a little upset."

"A little?" Duncan chuckled, until seeing Gwen's evil glare. "Whoa-ho-ho, Gwen, you know me. I'm just kidding around." I had my doubts, honestly. "But are you sure nothing's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," Gwen assured him, though I wasn't so sure she was telling the truth.

"Alright." He smiled (assumedly) genuinely. "Just looking out for ya, Sunshine."

I turned to my left, now noticing how surprisingly quiet Courtney was. Of course, there was an explanation why there was no temper tantrums being had in the room; the former CIT wasn't here. "Where did Courtney go?"

"I think she left to call her lawyers," Katie said. "I don't know why else she would've left."

"Maybe she actually wanted to spare us from her wrath," Tyler joked.

Bridgette shook her head. "Guys, something could be wrong with Courtney." She stood up and walked out. "I'm gonna go see what's up. Tell me what happens, 'kay Geoff?"

"Right-o!"

The footage cut to later that morning in front of the trailers. The sun was up, and the castmates were getting another speech from Chris. The host told the group that the life of the film actor is not as glamorous as would be expected from someone who had never worked on a film set.

"Whatever," Gwen shrugged it off. "I can deal. I once had a summer job at a petting zoo. It's _so_ adorable. Everybody feeding the _adorable_ goats their _adorable_ cabbages." Her expression quickly changed as she explained her old job description. "But somebody, i.e. me, had to shovel up the less adorable end of the digestive process." Aw, man. That job must have sucked.

"Aw, man. That job must have sucked." ...You literally took the words right out of my brain, Geoff.

But what sucked worse, in my opinion, was Chris emphasizing/rubbing it in that Gwen and Trent were on two different teams as he announced they'd be choosing them now.

Gwen tried to assure Trent that they weren't going to get competitive, but from the look in her eyes I could tell she had no idea how this was going to turn out.

"Okay! Let's get this bloodbath started!" Chris announced. By the way, nice description, Chris. "You're gonna choose schoolyard style: boy, girl, boy, girl." I don't know if he meant to gesture toward Gwen and Trent while mentioning the opposite gender, but knowing him... yeah, he meant to do that. "Ladies first, but since we have no ladies here, Gwen." Yeah, he so meant to do that. Bastard.

Gwen sighed; from the looks of things she didn't really want to be first. "I don't know... Duncan?"

Trent gasped. Duncan smirked. Now if I wasn't already worried this wasn't going to end well...

The cut showed a confession from Trent next. Nervous wreck didn't even come close to describing the guy. "I can't believe she just went ahead and chose Duncan! I mean, they're kind of alike, and now she wants to be on the same team? What am I supposed to make of that? You think you know a person..."

"Dude, she was pretty indifferent about it," Geoff noted. "You think he's making a mountain out of an molehill here?"

"He's making a mountain out of an anthill," Noah answered.

"I chose... the beautiful Lindsay."

I blinked a few times after hearing Trent's choice. "What was _that?"_

"Trent's idea of subtlety," Noah said, smirking.

Gwen's confession was shown next. "'The beautiful'? What, was Trent trying to tick me off by picking Lindsay like that?" She looked down, folding her arms. "You think you know a person."

Izzy sighed. "They're totally soul mates."

I sighed too, though mine was drastically different. Seriously, nothing good is going to come out of something like this, and I knew it right then! Right then, I knew things were going downhill.

And I was stuck here. I couldn't do anything about it.

Gwen and Trent continued to pick their teams, and from the looks of things... Trent didn't put much thought into his choices. I mean, it was pretty one-sided. Gwen had Duncan, Leshawna, DJ, Heather (at first I wasn't so sure about that, but Heather's a strong competitor, and I figured without her hair she might be a little more humble this time around), and Harold on her team. Trent, on the other hand, had Lindsay, Justin, Beth, Owen, and Izzy. Granted, Izzy's a strong competitor... she was also _here_.

Something tells me they didn't think that elimination through.

"Wait a second..." Sadie to the redhead. "How come you're not so anal about your name now?"

"Yeah, you were all 'RAHR! I'm E-Scope! I'm no longer Izzy! RAHR!'" Katie added, making pawing gestures with her "RAHRs."

"I changed my name back," Izzy said, smirking. "You'll know why soon enough. Oh, yes. You will know..."

"Gaffers? Grips?" Tyler's face was filled with confusion. "Wait, I think I get the Grips. They're, like, tough and can punch and grip stuff... right?"

"Gaffers and grips are the electricians and technicians of a film crew, respectively," Billy spoke up. "One way to think of it: gaffers provide the lighting, grips shape it." **[1]**

"So... I take it every challenge is going to involve them setting up a spotlight for Chris?" I couldn't tell if Noah was being sarcastic or not.

"Yeah, probably."

Chris revealed their challenge to the newly formed teams. They each had to move a makeup trailer and other equipment up... guess... the thousand foot high cliff.

Though since this wasn't Wawanakwa, the cliff was actually fake. Still... I had to admit I did not envy any of them.

But despite all that was happening, I couldn't get Gwen and Trent out of the back of my head. It didn't help that they were onscreen a good chunk of the time either.

Man... I really didn't want them to break up, you know? I mean... I had a feeling I knew what would happen if something _did_ go wrong...

I've seen Gwen break down before, and I certainly did not want it to happen again.

**-X-**

**[1] Always keep in mind that this show takes place in Canada. In the United States and Canada, grips work with **_**both**_** the camera crew **_**and **_**the gaffers. So if you're from, say, Australia or the United Kingdom, and you're a know-it-all when it comes to film crew members, please don't tell me I have no idea what a grip does. That's why I'm mentioning this here. I'm sure it won't happen, but I'm still putting it here in case it does, so no one will blame me for bringing it to everyone's attention in the next author's note if it does. ;) I can be a real asshole if I want to be.**

**-X-**

**And there's chapter six! ...Or seven, if you count the prologue.**

**In case you're wondering what the joke is in the title of this chapter, a best boy is a gaffer's assistant. The key grip can also have a best boy too, but that dude has nothing to do with the joke.**

**I hope the chapter didn't seem too rushed, and I'm not sure if that was a good place to end it, but I want to get something submitted before I go to sleep tonight, so... zzzzzzzzzz...**


	8. The Eye of the Storm

_**Façade: Behind the Scenes**_

_**Chapter Seven: The Eye of the Storm**_

So you have a bunch of teenagers carrying expensive film equipment up an extremely large hill. How can things possibly get any worse for them? Well, the cameras did an excellent job finding out.

Carrying a camera up the large hill was Gwen, who appeared to be struggling with her footing. She eventually lost it, fell back, and... was caught by Duncan. Yep, that's right. Duncan.

Needless to say, Trent was jealous, but with Lindsay's help he managed to have the final say... in a world where he was the only one speaking.

"So Trent would rather have Gwen fall and possibly fracture her skull than be helped by her teammate?" Noah asked, not amused. "What a sweet boyfriend."

"Harsh much?" Geoff replied to Noah's sarcasm.

"I know she's Heather and all," Katie spoke up, getting our minds off of Gwen and Trent momentarily, "but I think her relay-style idea was a good one."

"Well, considering Izzy's here, they must've done something right," Noah pointed out.

Now, hauling the equipment up the hill was actually the easy part. Hauling the make-up trailers up, on the other hand, was another story, and both teams were brainstorming ways to get the trailers up to the top of the hill.

"Funny how Lindsay remembers you when you're not there," Noah chuckled at the jock.

"Shut up, egghead," Tyler muttered.

Trent managed to get Owen to pull the trailer with promises of food.

Geoff gave the musician his props. "Hey, that was pretty smart."

Trent looked back at the Screaming Gaffers, a sudden smug smile appearing on his face as he began to taunt them. "Hey, new best friend! How do you like that? What, are you gonna cry together, you punk wannabes? 'Cause your team is going down!"

Time seemed to stop for a moment as an awkward silence came down upon us "losers."

"...He didn't..." I was the first to break it.

Geoff removed his hat and scratched the top of his head. "I-I can't believe he just..."

"I can," Noah stated. "He's an idiot."

The Gaffers turned to DJ, but he refused to pull the trailer, afraid that his hold would slip and the trailer would hurt someone on the way down.

"Anyone who's dumb enough to be in the way of a runaway trailer deserves to get hit by one."

"Noah!" I stared at the guy in disbelief. I know he's cynical and all, but... can't he keep some of that crap to himself?

"I mean it," he defended himself. "It's not that wide. You can easily get out of the way."

I rolled my eyes and looked back at the screen. It wasn't worth fighting over, really. Especially since DJ still refused to pull the trailer. The Gaffers would have to work without a make-up trailer.

Yep. That's right. There's a reason why they carried all that stuff up there.

The two teams had to set up their own movie scenes. The Grips' scene was about an old lady reflecting on her life, and the Gaffers' scene was your typical gangster scene.

"I assume you were the old lady, Izzy, if you're here," Noah pointed out.

"Yep!"

"Why am I not surprised?" Eva asked; I don't think she was sarcastic, but she had sort of a sarcastic tone in her voice.

"I have to hand it to you, though, Izzy," Noah said after Izzy (onscreen) had demonstrated her acting skills. "That's not the worst Scottish accent I've ever heard."

"Why thank ye, laddie," Izzy replied with her accent.

Unlike the Grips, no one had volunteered for the Gaffers' role... mainly because Harold and DJ were _clearly _not the best for the part. And Duncan? Well... he didn't want to do it.

Again, Noah opened his mouth. "If you don't want to be typecast, Duncan, quit stealing random crap and quit being an asshole."

"Come on, he's not _that _bad," Geoff defended the punk.

"I beg to differ."

Duncan eventually accepted, and the challenge is revealed in full: the actors had to get Chef Hatchet to show any emotion. After Geoff nearly had a heart attack from Chef scowling at the camera ("HOLY CRAP, CHEF IS SCARY!"), the two teams went to work.

Izzy groaned as we watched the Grips set up their act. "That was pure torture, I tell ya. Not being able to move from that damn spot..."

"Yes, because you running around aimlessly is so much better," Noah quipped.

"I know!"

As the Gaffers set up their stage, Duncan looked over his script. He didn't look so pleased.

"One, I can't memorize this much, and two, these lines are way out of left field."

"He can get cue cards like Christopher Walken," the usually silent Billy joked, earning a few chuckles from the rest of us.

"Yeah," I said as my giggles died down, "but that's Christopher freaking Walken. He can get away with it."

"True."

Onscreen, Heather made the mistake of calling Duncan "pretty boy."

"Ooh, so tough, threatening a prom queen," Noah satirized the punk.

Gwen decided to jump in to keep Duncan level-headed. "You are not pretty, okay Duncan? You're hot, okay?" ...Uh-oh. "You look hot... sexy... stud-like."

"And Trent somehow managed to hear just that," Noah sighed, rubbing his temples. "You know, this whole thing's like a bad soap opera."

"Good thing Courtney ain't here right now," Eva said. "She'd be more homicidal than me. And Izzy. Combined."

"Chyeah, but on the bright side, at least Duncan's not gonna kill anybody," Geoff said, trying to be positive.

"What about you, Cody," Noah started to egg me on. "What do you think about this?"

"What do you think I think?" I asked him. "I just don't want them to get hurt."

"You mean you don't want Gwen to get hurt," Sadie teased, and Katie giggled along with her.

"Hey, Trent's my friend too," I defended myself, feeling blood rush into my face. Great. So much for that cover-up.

Onscreen, Heather had gotten her leg caught in a light cord, resulting in a short chain of events that led her to being, well, hung upside-down. It was kinda funny, really.

"I bet Bridge would've loved to see that," I chuckled, noting how she had a history of getting her foot caught in things and causing havoc.

"We'll watch it together later," Geoff told me.

Harold had helped Heather down, which honestly surprised me at first, but I figured Harold considered himself a gentleman, and as such a kind of guy that would help any lady in need. Not bad, Harold. Not bad.

"A sweet and tender moment," Noah chimed in.

"I knoow," Ezekiel added. "It was kinda cute, eh."

"Soooooo cute!" Katie and Sadie both agreed.

Noah groaned. "...I was being sarcastic."

"I wasn't," Zeke replied.

In a confessional, Harold had claimed he has mastered girl whispering. Noah, of course, jumped at this opportunity. "Much like how Cody has mastered cool whispering."

...Prick. "You're on a roll today, dickweed." I stuck my tongue out at the egghead, who just shrugged it off.

"Ooh, crap. 'Scuse me, guys, but I gotta pee." Izzy stood up and ran out of the room. "DON'T SPOIL ANYTHING FOR ME, DAMMIT!" she cried from the hallway.

Onscreen, DJ revealed, well, just how girly he could be, and got a pep talk by Chef (of all people).

"Holy crap!" Tyler was in hysterics as Chef's confessional was shown. "Chef takes up the whole screen in the confessional! That's awesome!"

"Totally, bro!" Geoff stood up and held a hand out to high five the jock, and accidentally hit him in the head.

"So Chef is planning on having an alliance with DJ?" Eva scratched the back of her neck. "Can he do that?"

"I don't think so," I said, pondering this myself. Why would Chef form an alliance with DJ? Why not someone else?

The BFFFLs began to giggle at something on the screen. "Izzy looks funny!"

Noah shuddered. "Not really. A granny in a belly shirt? Ew..."

Geoff rubbed his forehead in confusion. "Master... what?"

"It's not 'lesbian' if that's what you were thinking, Geoff," Noah answered him.

"Oh, okay."

It was now time for the two actors to take the stage. Duncan, complete with hat and (paintball) gun, went first:

"When I was a young schoolgirl in Poland frolicking through the fields with my pet goat in the summer Sun, _those_ were my happiest days."

Noah had a rare fit of uncontrollable laughter. "Ho-ly crap!"

"So wait..." Geoff put two and two together. "Does that mean that Izzy..." He never got to finish, because he was laughing pretty hard too, as were the rest of us.

And it only got worse when we saw Izzy. "Now you listen and you listen good!"

"And she has a cane, too," Noah noted, no longer laughing but still with an amused look on his face.

Izzy continued. "If your fighter doesn't go down in the first round, you'll be sleeping with the fishes-"

"Did she just hoold the cane like a Tommy gun?" Zeke asked.

"-they have no eyelids and it's hard to sleep."

"I can see why she lost," Noah put two more of his cents in.

"-flip my eyelids. Anyone want to see me flip them?"

I turned to Noah and nodded. "Me too."

And then... we were caught by surprise.

"I've lived a good, long life!"

"Whoa," Tyler gaped, as I assume the rest of us did as we turned our attention back to the screen, where Duncan was giving a surprisingly amazing performance.

"I've loved, I laughed, but what I miss most of all is my sweet little goat." He looked up; tears formed in his eyes. "Chopin. Oh, baaaaa... Baaaaa..."

I watched in disbelief, as Chef had started to break down. He _really_ was affected by this... and I don't blame him.

"Oh, my God, he's brilliant," I gave the punk my props. Seriously, there was no way in hell I could've been able to do that.

Noah scoffed. "And he thought he couldn't act."

-X-

The Gaffers celebrated their first victory in the only way teenagers knew how to celebrate victories: in-house parties. Or in this case, in-trailer.

"Yo, check out my mad dancing skills, Leshawna," Harold boasted, though his dancing skills weren't much to boast about. I mean, don't get me wrong, ballet takes talent, but it's not exactly something I expect a guy to boast about.

Duncan must not have thought so either, because Harold would soon find himself in a pretty uncomfortable situation... involving his underwear, of course.

"Do you have any originality?" Heather asked, and I wasn't so sure it _wasn't _in defence of Harold.

"What's it to you?" Duncan asked, letting the nerd go. "Since when do you care?"

"Y'all better step off, Duncan," Leshawna chimed in. "We here to party, not cause trouble."

The punk just rolled his eyes. "Whatever. You know, if it wasn't for me, we would've lost."

"If it wasn't for the rest of us, you wouldn't have gone on stage," Gwen pointed out with a smirk.

"So? I still won it for us," Duncan jabbed himself with his thumb.

"Yeah, yeah. Just no more wedgies, okay, Mr. Winner?" She stepped toward the door, but was soon stopped in her tracks.

"Hey, where ya goin', Gwen?" Leshawna asked. "Party ain't over just 'cuz Duncan's bein' a pain in the ass."

"Literally," Harold added comically, rubbing his butt.

"I've got something I need to do." She smiled at the ghetto girl. "Keep this party alive, okay Shawny?"

"I'd think someone like you would want it dead," Heather retorted, and was met with a stern glare from Leshawna. Gwen just seemed to ignore it, and headed out the door. She was on a mission, and her objective was leaning against a nearby tree.

Trent spoke up as soon as Gwen walked up to him. "Duncan's performance made me realize some stuff," he said, and I was really hoping this wasn't going to turn ugly, "like... I've loved, lost, but what I miss most is my sweet little goat Gwen." ...Whoa... That was... strangely beautiful, I gotta say.

"Mmm-baaaaaa." I almost melted when she giggled.

"Corny as crap."

I glared at Noah, but it quickly morphed into a smirk. "I thought it was kinda cute."

"What, Gwen bleating like a goat?"

"Yeah."

"...You're a weird guy, Cody."

"I know." I brought my attention back to the screen just in time to hear Gwen assure Trent that she was still his. Like a shot, I remembered exactly why I gave Gwen up in the first place. I remembered why my dreams of possibly one day calling my future bride "Mrs. Gwendolyn Anderson" were shattered by my own two hands. All the hurt I had been feeling, even the tiny bit that was lying numb inside of me while I was watching this tape, had vanished for the time being. I did it for her. I gave her up so she could be happy.

I let her go out of love.

**-X-**

**If you're curious, the title of the chapter comes from the fact that this episode ended on a calm note, giving you a false belief that everything is going to be fine. ...And now, everything is **_**not**_** going to be fine.**

**Also, somewhere up there I make a joke about something Izzy says in the episode. She says "thespian." Since it's not a word everyone is familiar with, it can easily be confused with words that sound similar, like, say, "lesbian." It's happened at least once, I think. Don't ask me when and where.**

**I own nothing, as usual.**

**...**

**Is it just me, or does Gwen Anderson have a nice ring to it? XD**


	9. Unlucky Oddballs

_**Façade: Behind the Scenes**_

_**Chapter Eight: Unlucky Oddballs**_

"Cody. Wake up."

Augh... darn it. For once I slept great, in my own room no less, and now I'm being woken up really unceremoniously.

"Cody, you do know it's one in the afternoon, right?"

"I just woke up..." I groaned, hitting Noah with my pillow. "Did you see me look at the clock?"

"Shut up and get dressed." He walked over to the door. "Billy told me about an internet cafe down the street. Nothing says 'boredom control' like videogame music."

I threw the pillow at him as I sat up. "Give me one good reason why I should go with you," I said jokingly, trying desperately to look serious; I wasn't very good at it.

"'China Town' from Revenge of Shino-"

"Alright, I'm up."

-X-

This was probably the day that I became... a little afraid of crazed fangirls.

No, I'm not talking about the awesome ones that draw or write stuff for you, or follow you around and ask you for autographs or hugs or kisses on the cheek (I kinda like that part, actually). I'm talking about the ones that scream constantly in your ear, try to steal your undies while you're wearing them, and actually gang up on you and force you to kiss one of your best friends against your will. All of this... happened that day.

But at least "China Town" made up for it. That and just about every Kirby remix we listened to.

By the way, Noah's not that good a kisser. I don't know why the girls found that so exciting.

-X-

No one had showed up since we watched that last video, and it was killing me. I wanted to know how Gwen and Trent were doing. Were they still okay? Duncan wasn't giving them trouble, was he?

I could only hope that Trent knew that Gwen wasn't being "unfaithful." I mean, come on! It's DUNCAN. I mean, I know Duncan and Gwen share a lot of things in common, but I just don't see her falling for him. Think about it: the dude's more perverted than I am, and he's _very_ disrespectful. If she could hardly stand _me_ at first...

...

Maybe I shouldn't have brought that up...

...But still, I don't see her falling for him. Even if he has a "soft side," he's still a jerk, almost as bad as Chris if you ask me. Do you see Gwen falling for Chris anytime soon?

I just hoped Trent saw what I saw, too.

Unfortunately, there were still some others who didn't see what I saw, including one person I wasn't expecting.

"Bridgette?" Geoff must have felt something was wrong when his girlfriend wouldn't make out with him at the food court that night. "Something wrong?"

"No, nothing's wrong," Bridgette said rather quickly. I could tell right then that she was lying.

Geoff noticed it too. "You want to talk about it?"

"No, no, everything's fine."

Tyler tried to change the subject, clearing his throat. "So... who do you think's gonna win this season?"

"It'll probably be Owen again," Noah said with a smile. "Dude got lucky once, he could get lucky again."

"Nah," I started, "I think it's gonna be-"

"Gwen, yeah, we know," Noah interrupted, and I smacked him with my elbow.

"Why do you want Gwen to win?" I turned to Bridgette, surprised considering she knew about my crush.

"Well, I honestly think she deserves it," I explained. "I mean, she's got good intentions with the money."

"What about you, Bridge?" Geoff asked, beaming at her. "You probably want Gwen to win too, don'tcha?"

"A-actually," Bridgette rubbed her arm, "I'm rooting for Trent."

I nodded. "Yeah, I bet he's got some good intentions with the money too."

Courtney hung up her cell phone. "Yeah, well, he certainly deserves it more than Gwen does, but I'm rooting for Duncan." Not again...

"Yes, because he obviously has good intentions with the money," Noah droned.

"Think about how it could turn his life around," Courtney explained, pocketing her phone. "He won't need to steal anymore if he's got a million dollars."

"He can also buy you that expensive diamond ring you've always wanted," Noah added.

"Exactly! I... wait... HEY!"

"Guys, stop fighting," Bridgette implored. She rubbed her arm again and continued, "But I agree with Courtney. I think Trent could use the money more than Gwen, y'know?"

"I-I don't know about that," I spoke up, somewhat reluctantly. "I don't even know what Trent's intentions are."

"Whatever they are, they don't involve stealing Duncan away from... er... hmm," Courtney tapped her fingers on the table and cleared her throat. "But yeah, Trent's intentions are purer, I bet."

"Whatever." I didn't really want any part in this conversation anyway. It was bad enough Courtney was talking about Gwen behind her back, but something didn't seem right about Bridgette. She was acting... kinda strange, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

"Guys!" Izzy bounced into the room, catching the eye of nearly every guy here. "I got something awesome to show you. Everyone, come with me!"

"Is this really a good idea?" Noah asked cautiously. "I mean seriously. Following _her_?"

"Come on, Noah!" Izzy glomped him from behind and comically head-butted him with enough force to send _his_ overly large forehead onto the table. "It's gonna be fun! Trust me!"

"Oh, I can tell already."

-X-

"Here we are!"

Well... it didn't look as exciting as Izzy made it sound. In fact, it was just a stage. There was a couch in the middle, with a small table in front of it. A small monitor was sitting on the table. On the left was another couch, and on the right were a set of bleachers. And overlooking the stage were rows upon rows of seats made for a live audience.

"This is your idea of fun?" Noah asked, smirking at the redhead. "Maybe we have more in common than I thought."

"You wish." Izzy waved her hand, gesturing toward the stage. "This is the setting of the new Total Drama Action Aftermath! ...I wanted to call it Total Drama Izzy, but then I remembered I gave the hosting job to Geoff and Bridgette."

"So... what, are you going to be interviewing the voted-off contestants or something?" Tyler asked.

"Yeppers! But we won't be having our first show until the next castmate gets eliminated."

"This is so awesome!" Geoff cheered, wrapping an arm around Bridgette and pumping his other arm into the air. "We're gonna be interviewing our buds!"

I was a little excited too. I mean, hey. This was kinda cool, you know? I mean... friends interviewing each other about the show... making fun of Chris in front of a live audience... It sounded pretty sweet.

Unfortunately, it wouldn't stay that sweet...

-X-

"Where have you guys been?" an impatient Chris asked when we got back to the hotel. He held up another videotape. "I know I'm letting you guys run around Toronto, but I've been waiting here for two hours already! I've got an elimination to get back to!"

"Someone's actually going to be eliminated this time?" Noah asked.

"Yes. Someone will. And it's gonna be so much fun to kick one of their sorry asses off my show." He handed the tape to Tyler. "Enjoy," he concluded as he left the hotel.

"So what, is this going to be a reward challenge then?" Tyler asked. "I mean, I know some reality shows do that."

"Probably," Noah agreed. "Let's check it out."

-X-

Of course, like every episode of Total Drama should, it started with Chef's horrible food.

"Didn't see that coming," Noah muttered sarcastically. "A joke about Chef's food. Who'd have thought?"

It wasn't long before Sadie and Katie started squealing. Justin was onscreen yet again.

"He's so... hot..." I heard Eva swoon as well.

I just grumbled. He didn't look that great. What has he got that I don't? ...Aside from the muscles. ...And the tan. ...And the height...

Son of a...

The action, no pun intended, soon turned to Trent, who had accidentally dumped a whole bunch of salt on his eggs. It's weird, I never knew Trent was superstitious...

Duncan quickly made... possibly one of the worst jokes he had ever added as an exclamation point to one of his pranks, and Gwen retaliated with her always amusing wit. Experience points up by-nah, I kid.

Anyway, like I said before, I had no idea Trent was superstitious, but apparently he was, considering he threw salt over his shoulder... which comically hit Heather in the face.

"Wait, so who's got the bad luck here?" Noah asked.

Trent had spilled a bunch of pepper as well, and threw it over his shoulder. Again, it hit Heather, who ran around the tent screaming and sneezing.

"Apparently, Heather," Eva noted. "Deserving witch..."

Laughing at the scene before him, Duncan walked up to Trent and snagged one of his eggs.

"Are you nuts?" Trent asked, his sudden anger surprising me. "Now I only have eight pieces left!"

"Am I nuts? Dude, you are officially capital 'W' weird." Thank you so much, Duncan, for your concern.

Thankfully, Gwen came to her boyfriend's rescue. "Which is good because I happen to really like weird." She ate another piece. "There, now you've got seven pieces, which is an odd number again. Isn't that kinda better?"

Trent's smile would've said it all, but he spoke anyway. "Abso-Gwen-ly." ...Okay, maybe he should've stuck with the smile.

And of course, Chris came in to ruin the moment. Surfboard in hand and sporting sunglasses, it didn't take long for Bridgette to-

"Surfer movie!" Bridgette shouted happily, before her face suddenly dropped to a frown. "Aww... we so could've owned that, Geoff..."

"Hey, we've got a better gig now," Geoff tried to cheer her up.

"Still..." It didn't work too well, I guess.

Chris continued to explain the challenge, vaguely of course, and he told the castmates to get their swimsuits.

"How much do you want to bet that they're not going to the beach right away?" Noah asked, yawning. "Chris would pull something like that, wouldn't he?"

"Oh, definitely," I agreed.

And sure enough, we were right. The castmates were sent to a studio, which may as well been someone's freezer.

"It's a winter wonderland!" Izzy cackled. "I wish I was there right now, in my bikini..."

"I bet Cody's getting excited," Noah teased me. "Exciting things happen to girls in cold temp-"

"Shut up, please, shut up!" I quickly covered myself, and I felt my face get warmer and warmer.

Of course, Chris was wearing a heavy jacket, having known the whole time where they were going. Bastard.

The castmates' first challenge was to stay on a surfboard above a pool of surprisingly not-frozen water the longest. Whoever would win would get their team a head start on the next challenge.

Harold was the first to go, thanks to Lindsay's attempts at getting suntan lotion out of its bottle, and guess who made their special guest appearance during his run...

The sharks.

Oh, this was going to suck...

**-X-**

**I know I didn't get too far into this episode yet, but I really wanted to finish this chapter. I'm having a little bit of a writer's block right now, so... yeah. You know how it is. Life and all that.**

**And, as I would say on YouTube...**

**I OWN NOTHING!**


	10. Trent's Favourite Number

_**Façade: Behind the Scenes**_

_**Chapter Nine: Trent's Favourite Number**_

"Well, he really does have mad skills, I'll give him that," Noah complimented the gawky teen, who was now clinging from the rafters.

"The card juggling with his butt or the height of his jump?" I asked him.

"Why not both?"

A joke or two about Harold's butt later, Harold managed to distract the sharks with the bacon and facon (or however you spell that) Owen was happily eating. With the sharks distracted, Harold attempted to fall back to the surfboard, but ended up landing on the small diving board instead.

"Ouch," Tyler winced. "I'm glad that wasn't me."

"Now he's fist-bumping her, too?" Courtney asked, no doubt horrified by the very platonic act she just witnessed. "UGH!"

"It's okay, Courtney!" Bridgette tried to comfort her. "Duncan wouldn't leave you for _Gwen_."

...Okay, something was definitely up here. It wasn't so much what Bridgette said, but how she said it. Especially with all that emphasis on Gwen's name. What was going on here?

"Y-You're right," Courtney said with a nod. "I'm just looking too far into this, like you said." Wait, when did she say...?

"Alright, is it just me," Noah interrupted my train of thought, "or has Trent lost it?"

"Lindsay's lost it, too, I see," Eva pointed out.

"Hey, not cool!" Tyler defended his girl, though he slumped right away after. I frowned-it must really suck to like a hot girl that barely remembers you.

...

Of course, I would know, wouldn't I?

Anyway, going back to Lindsay for a second, she was next to ride the surfboard. And thanks to Chris, Chef, and a giant fan, she ended up flying at the wall.

DJ was next, and one of the sharks snagged his shorts. Man, if only they would've done that to Gwen...

...Don't give me that look. I may like the "mystery" but I'm not going to say I wouldn't enjoy seeing that.

Owen was next. He broke the board. Shocker. The splash caused all the water to leave the small pool, splashing everyone and sending the sharks onto the concrete. Again, shocker.

"I had no idea the sharks had their own union," Izzy said with interest after Chris allowed them their break. The contestants didn't get the same luxury, though.

Gwen was up next. Nope, no sharks to steal her trunks, sorry folks. ...Oh, come on, I had to joke about what I said before. If you can't laugh at yourself, well... you turn into Courtney. There, I said it.

Anyway, Gwen began to "surf," and was doing a great job, if you ask me. Of course, I would know because I couldn't keep my eyes off the screen, hehe... But it unfortunately didn't last for long. Chris still had a few more tricks up his sleeve. Namely... a seagull cannon.

Yep. You heard right. A seagull cannon.

"Poor Gwen," I made the mistake of saying. Why was it a mistake?

"She had it coming." That's why.

"Courtney..." I started, but I never got to finish.

"Don't you 'Courtney' me!" Sigh. Alright, you win. If you shut up.

Justin was next, and he managed to swoon the sharks, who had just come back from break. It didn't save him from the cannon, though. But one of the sharks saved him... by performing CPR.

"Everybody loves Justin, it seems," Noah groaned.

"I don't," Izzy added, sharing Noah's grumpy face.

"...Maybe you're not that crazy after all." He rose an eyebrow, seeming to be in thought. "...Wait, I take that back. You dated an animatronic monster, that's pretty crazy."

"He sure is..." the redhead swooned.

It was now Duncan's turn on the surfboard, and he managed to dodge all the seagulls, even punching one in the face with little effort.

"Nice one, man!" Geoff cheered.

"Go, Dunkie, go!" Courtney cheered as well.

"...Dunkie?" Noah inquired in an amused tone.

"Oh, shut up."

Chris tried to throw more objects at Duncan, trying to knock the punk off the board. His last resort?

"Lindsay!" Tyler cried as he watched his clueless girlfriend hit the wall behind Duncan. "Oh, man, I hope she's okay."

"Well, Duncan won it for the team," Eva noted. "Impressive."

"Yes! Go, Duncan! Go-wait!" Courtney's mood suddenly flipped when she saw what was happening on the screen. "What the...?" I swear, I could see steam coming out of her ears. "That... that evil Goth witch!"

"Hey!" Yep. I opened my big mouth again. "It's just a hug, Courtney. Relax."

"How can I relax when that... that... _jezebel_ is trying to steal... uh... I mean..." Her eyes darted around as she tried to find something to cover what she said up. She didn't have to, though, as everyone's attention was drawn back to the screen, thanks to Trent's... weird behaviour.

"Whoa, he's crazier than I am!" Izzy exclaimed.

"...Nah, I highly doubt that," Noah retorted.

-X-

The castmates had been sent back to the trailers to wait for the next challenge, and they weren't going to let Chris trick them into wearing swimsuits in a freezer again.

Funny thing, though... they were actually going to a beach this time.

"Oh, Chris is good," Izzy complimented. "Chris is good."

"No, Chris is bad," Courtney said, "like how Gwen is bad for Duncan." I was about to say something, but I stopped myself. It wasn't worth getting into another fight with Courtney.

So, what beach did Chris take the castmates to? Where else but good old Camp Wawanakwa in Muskoka, Ontario?

"Poor souls," Noah said, shaking his head.

"If you need to take a moment and reminisce about the great times we've had here..." Chris began, but he didn't finish, as the castmates erupted with laughter. Yeah, "great times," alright. "Fine," he finally said, giving up. "We'll skip the 'good memories' montage." He turned toward Gwen's team. "Screaming Gaffers, you've got a thirty minute head start on... the sandcastle building contest!" Aw, this challenge actually sounds easy. And fun. Chris didn't go soft on us, did he? "To be judged," he continued, "by our resident King of the Dunes." As he said that, Chef Hatchet put a "sandcastle" hat on his head. How he found one of those, I have no clue. "Make like prop masters, guys, and give me something awesome. I really don't want to have the tiebreaker to go down." Chris gestured toward what looked to be something Giles Corey would welcome in open arms. **[1] **"Don't think legal's quite approved it yet..." You think?

Harold had picked up the leadership role in creating the sandcastle, and thanks to his fascination with Frank Gehry (how can I blame him?), he managed to build one heck of a sandcastle! Wow! It actually looked like some sort of government building instead of a few piles of sand.

But as the Gaffers constructed this masterpiece, I couldn't help that two of them were missing.

And Courtney noticed it too. "Where is Duncan?"

"And where is Gwen?" Geoff innocently asked.

"Watch it," Noah quickly scolded the party boy. "You don't want to make Courtney mad, now."

"Shut up, Noah!" Whoa! Now, I was expecting that from Courtney, but...

"Bridge, you okay?" Geoff asked, worried about his suddenly snapping surfer girlfriend.

"I'm fine." She bit her lip. "It's just... that was mean."

"Almost as mean as dismantling a bus and stranding them there." Courtney pointed to the screen. "Look. There's your perfect little angel right now, Cody."

"Uncalled for much?" I simply replied.

At this point, Duncan had removed something from the bus that caused the horn to go off. Noah couldn't help but chuckle. "Looks like Duncan's not a perfect little angel either."

"I never said he was," Courtney said, glaring at him. "In fact, Duncan has a lot of flaws, and someday I will fix them."

"Because that's what a _real _girlfriend would do," I joked. Of course I was kidding. If you really love someone, why would you try to change that person?

"Exactly." ...Unless you're Courtney.

"So you admit you like him," Noah noted, and, now realizing this, the majority of us began to chuckle.

"Wha-no! I hate that guy!" Courtney rebutted, but it was too late.

"Come on, Court. It'll just make things easier if you admit it," Bridgette said, before glaring at the rest of us. "Real mature, by the way."

The former CIT sighed and brought her hands up in a defensive way. "Alright, alright, fine. I like Duncan. You happy now?"

"We already knew it, so..." Tyler shrugged. "I don't feel any different."

"Me neither, other than the fact that the constant denial was making me nauseous," Noah added.

"I wouldn't talk about denial, Noah," Izzy cackled, pinching the poor brainiac's cheeks.

"Cut it out! And that's different. I don't like Cody. That was an accident."

"Aww, but I thought we were friends," I pouted. What can I say? It's fun to pick on Noah sometimes.

"I didn't mean... uh... ugh... Don't encourage her behaviour! Just... watch the show." Obviously, Noah wasn't a happy camper right now.

Around this time, the Grips were finally allowed to start building their sandcastle. Trent quickly took the leadership role, but it didn't last long for things to get a little... creepy...

"Why does there have to be nine of everything?" Katie asked, confused.

"Maybe cool guy Trent has finally snapped," Noah noted. "It's always the guys you think are the most normal."

"I thought it was the smartest guys that always snap," I reminded him, but he didn't disagree with that either.

As Trent went on his little "Nine-capade," Gwen and Duncan returned to the beach, just in time to see Harold finish what he called "Taj Ma-Harold."

"Do you think Gwen notices her boyfriend's insane?" Noah questioned.

"She's too busy looking at Duncan, I bet," Courtney answered, punctuating it with a raspberry.

"Again, not necessary," I told her, the back of my head hitting the couch with frustration.

"You know what else is unnecessary?"

"What?"

"Having to comment on everything I say."

"She's got you there, Cody," Noah said with a chuckle, and I stuck my tongue out at him.

"You're one to talk, Noah."

"Whoa, nice thinking, Beth," Sadie complimented the farmer girl onscreen, and I turned to the screen, forgetting about the argument Courtney and I were having for the time being. I had to agree with my former short-lived flame; Beth had a great idea going! I forgot that Chris asked them to be "prop masters." Of course it didn't matter what the sandcastle was made of, as long as it looked like a sandcastle.

Using ripped-up pages of magazines and hairspray to make some sort of papier-mâché, the Grips managed to construct a somewhat realistic looking sandcastle, one that would probably fly on a real low-budget movie, but hey, that's probably what Chris was looking for in the first place.

"I dub thee 'Casa Gwen'," Trent announced once they were finished. ...Okay, I admit, I may be crushing a little too hard on the girl, but I'm not sure if I would name a papier-mâché sandcastle after her. I'd probably name it... "Casa de los Magazines," or maybe "Casa Einstein" for my buds back home. They might like that.

"Now he's naming buildings after me?" Gwen asked in mild frustration to no one in particular, except maybe Duncan. "I think Trent might be obsessed."

"Nine moats, nine flags, nine wicked jam rooms..."

Gwen tried to look on the bright side. "At least his number nine obsession is even worse than the 'me' one."

"Four letters in your name, five letters in his," Duncan pointed out, "put 'em both together and you get..."

"Twenty-three?" Noah joked. Eva responded by smacking him upside the head. **[2]**

"Nine!" Gwen deduced in horror. She put a hand to her forehead; whether she had a headache or was just in disbelief, I don't know. "He can't be doing everything nine times just for me!"

Harold must've overheard their conversation. "Dude always does everything nine times," he explained. "I reckon it started when he figured out you might like him."

Alright, this was where things got a little fishy. Not because Harold got involved, mind you, but because I don't remember Trent ever being THIS obsessed with the number nine. There's got to be more to the story than this...

"Could say you've, uh, sent him to Cloud Nine?" Duncan joked, earning a punch in the arm from Gwen.

"Okay, I'll admit, he deserved that," Courtney cringed. "That was terrible."

"He actually thought that was funny?" Noah asked, twirling his finger. "Yeah. I'm glad I don't have his sense of humour."

"Guys! We need a little help over here!"

Gwen, Duncan, and Harold turned back to the sandcastle, and Harold freaked out. "Our sandcastle!" He tried to shoo the seagulls away, as did most of the other Gaffers. He turned to Gwen and Duncan briefly. "Guys, come on! Help us out!" When they didn't, he just sighed, "Idiots," and continued working on getting rid of the birds.

Their attempts at getting rid of the birds failed, and the Taj Ma-Harold fell, leaving its namesake annoyed with its "busted buttresses."

With that, the Grips had won the prop sandcastle contest, which meant... tie-breaker time!

...And I really hope he came up with something new.

-X-

Thankfully, Chris DID come up with something new, and the castmates (or, for old times' sake, why not call them campers as long as they're in Wawanakwa?) were sent to find firewood for a bonfire.

"What, is there going to be a marshmallow ceremony?" Trent asked Owen as he picked up another stick.

"Oh, I hope so," Owen chuckled, licking his lips. "I miss those marshmallows."

"At least we get those chocolate Chris statues, eh?" The musician elbowed the big sack of joy.

"Mmmm... true, true..."

The two kept moving forward for a bit, and guess who they ended up walking into.

"Gwen, hey," Trent spoke up. I never knew he was so nervous around her. He used to be so mellow before. What was going on? The musician rubbed the back of his head. "I-I feel like it's been ages since we had any, uh... you know..." Owen took the liberty of making kissy-faces behind Trent's back at this time, "...quality time together."

"This is the confident guy we knew from last season?" Courtney asked in disbelief.

"Maybe those aliens from the alien movie challenge probed him and messed with his head!" Izzy deduced quickly.

"Uh... no."

Onscreen, after Owen made his "retreat," Gwen and Trent had a little long-awaited talk. "I kinda want to talk to you about..." Gwen stopped as she noticed Owen actually didn't leave, but was unsuccessfully hiding behind a nearby tree. "Owen, I can see you."

"You mind speaking up?" the big guy asked from his "hiding place." "I don't want to miss all the juicy bits..." And he got a face full of sticks for his troubles, courtesy of Gwen.

At that, Gwen and Trent smiled at each other for a moment, and just as you thought things would actually turn out okay... they didn't. Gwen just had to look down and notice...

"Are you carrying... nine sticks?"

"Of course," Trent said like it was obvious. "It's my lucky number."

Gwen started to back away. "Listen, Trent, I'd love to... stay and chat, but... I really-gotta-go-focus-on-the-game-right-now!" She ran off, dropping the sticks she was carrying.

Courtney shuddered. "Ugh... they're so meant to be together."

"Uh-huh..." Okay, so I agreed to _what_ she said, but the connotation... not so much.

-X-

Night fell at Camp Wawanakwa, and the campers were getting ready for their tie-breaker challenge. Chris revealed that they really didn't need the firewood, and he just wanted to keep the campers busy as he got his manicure.

"Jerk," Ezekiel muttered, folding his arms.

"Because manicures are so manly," Tyler added, and Noah high-fived him.

The tie-breaker was a dance competition; both teams had to choose one person to dance for their team. Leshawna quickly volunteered for the Gaffers. Trent was suggested to dance for the Grips, but Trent said he'd only do it if they said his name nine times. I think he was just messing with them, or at least I hope that was the case. Either way, they did it, though not very enthusiastically.

So, the competition started, and quickly it was easy to see which of the two really did have the best moves, though Harold would probably disagree.

"Well, at least she knows how to shake it," Noah tried to give her her props, but he couldn't help but laugh anyway.

"Go, Leshawna, go!" Katie and Sadie both cheered. Okay, so maybe Harold's not the only one that would disagree.

In the end, though, Leshawna had surprisingly won the competition, not because Chris felt sorry for her, but because Trent took the fall... literally.

"He... lost the challenge? For Gwen?" Courtney scoffed. "What a loser." **[3]**

Chris revealed the Gaffers' reward: a beach party, one that the Grips would only be able to watch from afar. As the Gaffers celebrated the victory, Gwen motioned for Trent to talk to her in private.

"Oh, here we go," Noah muttered. "This ought to be sappy."

"Heeey!" I gave him a dirty look. "After all that's been going on, they need a little closure, don't you think?"

"Nnnope."

When they were a safe distance away from the group, Trent spoke up. "I know you really wanted to win."

"I guess," Gwen said, smiling a little at her boyfriend's noble act, or at least I was assuming she knew about that. "You know, you're a really good dancer!"

"You like that?" He turned around and moonwalked over to her. Damn, he's good.

"Your ankle seems better," she pointed out. Hmm, maybe she didn't know. Or she was just toying with him. Honestly, I couldn't quite tell. Of course, you know how it is, she's a mystery and all that. I don't need to go through it again, at least not now. Maybe if I need filler later, I will.

"I'm weird like that," he said, shrugging nonchalantly.

"You sure are," she simply said, and they closed in...

"Told you. Sappy."

"Shut up, Noah." I stuck my tongue out at him again.

"Oh, boy, there's Owen," Tyler said with a laugh.

"You guys gonna make out now?" And thus, Owen got another face full of sticks.

Noah shook his head. "Owen, you perverted nut."

-X-

I really don't get it. A beach party, with actual food, a bonfire, and dancing... I can't believe Chris was being so nice setting all this up. It's times like this that I really wished I was back in the game.

The Gaffers watched on as their own Harold began to break-dance. Yep. Add another mad skill to the list.

Unfortunately, Duncan ruined the moment by kicking sand in Harold's face. "What was that for?"

"'Cause you actually have mad skills in dance," Duncan justified himself. Yep, that really warrants sand in the face, especially when your team still won. Jerk.

"Good thing we didn't need them, thanks to my smooth moves," Leshawna said, showing off said, uh... "smooth moves."

Now, I'd tell you how the rest of the episode went, but at the time I didn't get the chance to see it. Other than Beth managing to give Justin a friendship bracelet, and Justin being... uh... Justin, not a lot happened here anyway. But you're probably wondering why we didn't see it. Well, let's just say we were interrup-

"AAAAAAAAAH-HAAAH-HAAAH-HAAAAAH!"

Oh, no...

Not only could we hear the crying from this far away from the hotel lobby, but it wasn't even that hard to tell _who_ was crying.

And as soon as I knew who it was, which only took about a nanosecond, my heart sank.

This... this wasn't supposed to happen...

**-X-**

**[1] Giles Corey was a man that was "pressed to death" (or "peine forte et dure," according to Wikipedia) during the Salem witch trials. Instead of pleading guilty or not guilty to the accusations against him, he simply told the executioner "More weight." One might remember hearing of this man in "The Crucible," a play by Arthur Miller.**

**[2] "23" is a drama starring Jim Carrey. I've never actually seen the movie, but I've read about it, and I can tell when someone spoofs it. From what I understand of it, it also involves an unhealthy obsession with a number that the main character seems to stumble upon **_**everywhere**_**.**

**By the way, Eva smacking Noah upside the head isn't really a reference to anything, but since the endnote is there, you can pretend it's an NCIS reference if you want.**

**[3] SPOILER ALERT! Ironically, Courtney would technically be doing the same thing in TDWT, only her intentions would be to get rid of Gwen, not help her win. Also, she'd be much more unsuccessful, at least in her own attempts.**

**-X-**

**Man, sometimes I really suck at wording stuff. I don't think I gave those last few lines justice. :( Ah well, I hope you enjoyed it anyway. Expect some more drama in the near future, folks.**

**I own nothing. Total Drama is owned by Fresh TV, blah blah blah. This is fanfiction, guys. Get a grip. Or a gaffer. LAWLZ, okay, it wasn't that funny...**


	11. The Lone Cowboy

**Hey, folks! Just letting everyone know I just finished my first semester of college. I have been (and still am) commuting so wish me luck and hope I don't die in a horrible car accident, especially during the winter months. You may proceed to calling me stupid for not getting a dorm.**

**That being said, I've got some ideas already for the Façade **_**numero tres**_** and hopefully I'll be smart enough to write those ideas down. XD I think there were some ideas I had for TDA that are long gone by now, and I don't want it to happen to TDWT, 'cause these are pretty friggin' sweet. I'm talking confrontations with Duncan, Courtney, even Chris, and some interesting little extra moments sprinkled here and there with Gwen, Sierra, Heather, Alejandro, and much more. I'll try not to spoil too much more, but hopefully what I have planned will not only explain the unexplainable (one of the things that I'm hoping Façade as a whole has been doing pretty well at) and make sense of plotholes galore, but also will actually be an entertaining read, maybe even more so than the season was to watch. :D Well, a fanfiction writer can dream, can't he?**

**Anyway, back to Trent being emo...tional. Emotional, is what I meant to say.**

**-X-**

_**Façade: Behind the Scenes**_

_**Chapter Ten: The Lone Cowboy**_

"I'm... I'm fine, guys. Really." I really wasn't so sure about that; the poor guy had been crying for twenty minutes straight. "Don't worry about me."

"Trent, how can we not worry about you?" Bridgette asked, greatly concerned for the musician. "You were crying so much I could've surfed in it."

"No, I mean it. I'm okay." He took a deep breath. "So... where am I staying?"

"Here, I'll help you out." Billy held up a key and led him to the elevator.

"Poor Trent..." Bridgette's voice really sounded broken up. "What could have happened to him?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Noah asked, unamused by Bridgette's inquiry. "It probably involves Gwen and Duncan."

Courtney growled for a second, but regained her composure. "He... really needs to man up, if you ask me. I mean, heck, it couldn't have been that bad a loss. It's _Gwen_."

Relax, Cody... Don't say anything you're going to regret...

"I don't care if he says he's fine. He's clearly not," Bridgette said, turning to Geoff. "I'm gonna talk to him. He shouldn't have to bottle something like this up."

"Yeah, I know. I'll come with you." That cheered Bridgette up a little, and the two headed for the elevator.

Once everyone else started going their separate ways, I ran up to Tyler and tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention. "You don't think Gwen..."

I didn't have to finish. "I really don't know, dude," he whispered back with a shrug. That wasn't very reassuring...

-X-

When Geoff and Bridgette finally came back down, things didn't look like they were much better. In fact, Bridgette seemed unusually miffed. Geoff, on the other hand, seemed to have a look of indifference.

"I can't believe she'd do something like that!" Oh, that doesn't sound good... "I mean, really! I thought I knew her! I thought she was better than that!"

"Uh... yeah, I know!" Geoff "agreed," though it sounded faker than professional wrestling. "How dare she?" Or voice over in a Resident Evil game.

Bridgette simply stormed off, but Geoff didn't follow. Instead, he came straight over to the small group of us, having congregated in the lobby a few minutes ago simply for having nothing better to do. "I think Courtney's right. Trent's kind of... over the top."

"What do you mean?" Tyler asked, curious.

"Well, Trent told us that Gwen dumped him, and Bridgette just got pissed..."

"Wait, what?" I couldn't believe what I just heard. "W-What happened?"

"I don't know, that's all Trent told us," Geoff said, shrugging. "But he was so... melodramatic. I mean, Gwen's an alright gal, but he's just... flipped."

"No kidding," Noah muttered, not even looking up from the book he was reading.

"I'm serious, guys. He's taking this _way_ too hard." He shrugged. "I mean, sure, I would feel terrible if Bridgette left me, and I'd cry too. A lot. But I don't think I'd be shouting, 'My life is over! She ripped my heart out in nine pieces!' or whatever he said back there. Just seems like it's a bit much."

Man... now I felt _really_ horrible for Trent. Did Gwen say something bad? I'm... really going to have to see what happened before I can get a good understanding of this situation.

I didn't sleep very well that night.

I tried to push the thought aside. I couldn't.

Gwen...

Waiting wasn't even the worst part. The fact that she wasn't here-the fact that I couldn't talk to her about it... Not that she _would_ want to talk about it, but at least I could try.

But I was stuck here. And as much as I hated it, I'd have to wait.

Chris already had the tape ready and waiting for us the next morning. "You know, it's funny. I really don't know why the producers wanted me to give you this tape so early. I didn't have much time to edit it. ...But whatever. Here you go." He dropped the tape in Tyler's hands. "Enjoy, losers." Nope, he didn't explain what had happened either, but I figured he figured we'd find out soon enough anyway.

When I sat down on one of the couches, I couldn't help but notice that Trent wasn't there. Not that I was expecting him to be there, after seeing him yesterday.

The tape began with the castmates were trying to bear the heat... and failing. I don't remember it being that hot out, but then again I think I was inside most of the day. This place does have nice air conditioners.

But despite the heat, Gwen seemed to be coming down with some sort of cold. Trent offered her some water, which caused Katie and Sadie to swoon, and said verbatim, "You're the only girl I'd risk catching some heinous virus from," which caused the same Katie and Sadie to go, "...Ew."

"He's still sweet, though," Sadie quickly added after their reaction, and Katie ultimately agreed.

"He has to wipe off her germs nine times?" Izzy asked, giggling to herself. "Wow, he really did go crazy, didn't he? ...I like it!"

"Knowing Cody, he wouldn't wipe her germs off at all," Noah joked, bringing all the attention on me _again_.

But I retaliated with, "I'd never wash my water bottle again." ...Okay, that was kind of a sucky comeback, especially considering to fill it up with water I'd probably be washing it out anyway. Not completely, mind you, but it still screwed up the joke.

Thankfully, before things could get any more awkward, everyone returned their attentions back to the TV. Chris made his entry, with guns a-blazing with blanks and a custom cowboy outfit.

"I wonder what this challenge is going to be," Noah said with mock-interest.

If it wasn't blatantly obvious enough already, it was a challenge based on Western films. I knew there was a reason for that cheap Old West set. And after a few trips to the confessional, the castmates strode off for it.

"From the looks of things, Gwen's not liking this new nutty Trent as much as Izzy does," Noah pointed out, then slapped himself in the forehead for realizing what he just said. "Oh, duh. Right. They broke up. Of course she doesn't."

"Maybe Gwen still likes him as a friend," Tyler suggested with a shrug. "Just a thought."

"Would a friend cause you to cry as much as Trent did?" was Bridgette's retort.

"Absolutely not," Courtney added. "That's why Trent should just get over it. She's not worth it."

"Don't make Cody mad, now," Noah joked. I just shook my head. I really didn't care what they were saying. I just wanted to know what the heck happened between Gwen and Trent!

...Also, seeing Leshawna with an afro cheered me up a bit.

...Okay, a lot.

Anyway, Chris began a monologue about the traditional Western film, which had its fair share of interruptions, one of which didn't sit well with me. But it apparently sat well with Courtney, which makes sense since it was Gwenless Duncan tripping Evil Traitor Benedict Harold into a trough.

"Ah, the only thing that can make this moment better is if my lawyers call and say I'm back on the show." After a few seconds, she pulled out her trusty phone. "Darn. No messages."

Chris began explaining the first challenge. Now, when I heard "saddle practice" and saw the horse, I already knew it was going to be bad. But I still had no idea exactly how bad it was going to be.

And then he pointed out the diving board... which was about twice the height of the water tower it was attached to... which was just about twice the height of the buildings surrounding it.

...Yeah. This was bad.

And you're not going to guess who ended up going first.

No, go ahead, guess.

Ah, you've probably seen the show already. Or maybe you haven't. That's probably not something I should assume. Either way, yeah, there are spoilers here. I didn't know if you already knew that, but... yeah. There are.

...Anyway, jumping back a little bit, I felt it was really sweet of Trent to try to keep Gwen out of the challenge, due to her illness. Even if he did royally screw up by saying, uh... well... just read it:

"Guys, Gwen really is sick. In her condition she'd probably fall off the platform and land on that poor horse!"

I'm also glad he caught his mistake right after he said it. I just wish Gwen's reaction also leaned more toward "It was an accident" instead of a "What the hell?" kind of reaction.

So the Gaffers cheered on their team captain as she reluctantly took step after step closer to the ladder of possible death. Heather was a little late on the cheering and didn't sound very supportive. And Duncan...

"We're going to need a new team captain."

...You jerk.

I mean really, was that necessary? It's not like jumping into a vat of gelatin from half the height. And that's not a stab at Courtney. It really isn't. This is far deadlier.

Once Gwen finally reached the towering diving board, a shout came from below: "Break a leg, Gwen!"

Er... Trent... _that_ probably wasn't the best choice of words...

After looking over the edge, Gwen backed out. Honestly, I couldn't blame her. I don't think I would've wanted to chance that jump either. But an unfortunately untimely and powerful sneeze sent her backwards off the diving board.

Yes, she landed on the horse.

And it wasn't pretty.

That was probably the hardest I've ever cringed. When I finally was able to open my eyes, I watched in horror as she fell from the horse, no doubt in excruciating pain.

"Gwen!" I could breathe again, but a little fear lingered. Why would Gwen want to give up this guy? Even with his quirks, Trent was basically doing everything... I... would...

...

Uh...

But he's helping her up! That's gotta be... OOH! ...Ow... Well... how was he supposed to know how bad her arm was hurt? She didn't land on it from what I could see, unless she hurt it when she fell off the horse. But you'd think anything hurting from the first fall would be worse than anything from the second. Really, I don't think Trent did anything wrong here. Did something else happen?

I didn't have much time to think about it, as Trent was next on the diving board.

And his aim was very... very... very off.

As in he landed on a fence post far away from the horse.

"Ouch." Thanks, Noah, for saying what we were all thinking.

"He so did that on purpose," Courtney sighed. "Still trying to lose for his lost girlfriend."

"I don't know," Tyler said, rubbing his arm. "I don't think I would do that, even for Lindsay."

Harold was next, and apparently so was Duncan, even though they were on the same team. I think Duncan just did it on purpose to hurt Harold. Of course, Courtney must've found this amusing, too. She checked her phone quick with excitement, then frowned and put it away.

Owen went next, but the horse knew better and got out of the way. This didn't stop Owen from getting out of the crater he made and chasing the horse down to get on it. Chris counted the point.

DJ went next; I have no idea what he was using to parachute down to the horse, but his plan backfired heavily, as a sudden gust of wind sent him into some electrical wires.

Justin... didn't jump.

Beth and Lindsay jumped together, and both landed on the horse, which left Heather and Leshawna to break the resulting tie. Needless to say, their rivalry led both of them up to the diving board... and hanging from the weather vane on the nearby barn.

"At least it was closer to the target than the fence," Courtney pointed out. "Such a fake jump..."

Leshawna soon saved herself (her pants had ripped and her afro bounced her back up to a normal standing position), but at a cost that Chris soon pointed out. Probably not the best day to go commando, Leshawna. **[1] **As for Heather, well... she was left up there, also with some booty shown for the world to see.

As Chris took the contestants to the second part of the challenge, Trent, who was still clutching some areas in pain, tapped on Justin's shoulder. "Dude, you got a minute?"

"Sure, Trent. What's up?" Justin... I'm not sure what to say about the guy. Sometimes he's really cool, and sometimes he can be a little bit of a jerk. But I definitely harbour no bad feelings toward the model. But in all honesty I'd say that he was my least favourite bandma-whoa-ho-ho-ho! Getting way too ahead of myself here. Sorry about that.

"I think I keep screwing things up around Gwen," Trent explained. "How do you keep your cool around girls?"

"It's not something that can easily be taught," Justin answered. "Sometimes it's something you need to be born with."

"...So do you think that, you know, if I don't have it, something might happen between Gwen and me?"

Justin just shrugged, which certainly couldn't have made Trent feel any better.

Man... Seriously, something must've happened. Something big must've happened. I mean... Gwen knew Trent meant well, right?

...I gotta stop asking questions like that...

**-X-**

**[1] HA! Yeah, like Cody should talk, right? (If you haven't seen TDWT or read about it somewhere, you won't get this joke)**

**-X-**

**I'm so sorry for the long wait. College, life, writer's block, procrastination, they all came together in a nasty cesspool that led to my lack of posting. I want to say that the next chapter won't take as long to post, but I can't promise anything.**

**I also want to thank everyone who reads my fics. Thank you so much. I love receiving feedback, too, but don't feel like you have to post a review just because I said that. I'm not picky about that.**

**Also, I'm sorry if it feels like the quality of this chapter isn't very great. Two very huge intervals between the first half and the second, and the fact that I did the second half in pretty much one day... Yeah, it's not going to be great. Plus it was yet another episode-centered chapter, so it couldn't have been too exciting. I really hope the next few chapters will make up for it.**


	12. Silver Lining

**I apologize for the **_**very **_**long wait! Thank you so much for your patience.**

**Lots of stuff happened since the last time I worked on this fanfiction, and I admit I kept putting it off for various reasons, college, life, and all that. At one point my laptop got fried and I had to get a new one. Unfortunately, since Microsoft Works isn't on this laptop, I cannot go through many of my older files.**

**Anyway, I hope that from now on I'll be able to upload more chapters of Façade for you guys, but please keep in mind that this will still take some time. This is not my number one priority. But I really hope that it doesn't take over a year to upload the next one. ^^; Yeah, so much for hoping to upload sooner than last time… Hope you guys can forgive me.**

**-X-**

_**Façade: Behind the Scenes**_

_**Chapter Eleven: Silver Lining**_

High noon.

Time for a showdown.

That was what Chris's pose attempted to say to us.

Heather was back in the group; Chris must not be a complete jerk after a—hahaha! I'm sorry, I couldn't say that with a straight face. Ahh… Chris, you douche.

Trent was asked to choose a member of his team to be the cowboy for this showdown. He chose Owen. That's right: big, wide, clumsy Owen was Trent's choice to be the cowboy in a shootout. What the heck, Trent?

"See?" Courtney picked up on it too. "He's throwing the competition! He doesn't even want to win."

"We don't know that," I told her. "Maybe he thinks Owen is a good—"

"Shot?" She laughed. "Cody, I'm sorry, but this is Owen we're talking about."

"He's a hunter."

"He's a terrible hunter."

"You don't know that."

"Cody," her tone was stern, "do you really think that choosing Owen was a good idea?"

"…No."

"Okay then."

It didn't matter anyway. Owen drank all the water in the water pistols, forcing Chris to come up with a new challenge.

During the wait, Gwen confronted Trent. Was this it? But he did not do anything bad, did he?

"Hey, Trent," she inquired, "why did you choose Owen?"

"Uh…" he stammered, "well, I figured he'd be a great shot, y'know? He shot that bear, remember?"

"He said he was being theatrical," she reminded him. A sneeze later, she added, "I can see Big O coming from a family of hunters, but I just don't see him being much of one himself."

"Hmm, maybe you're right. At least we won't have to worry about that now, right?" He chuckled awkwardly and cleared his throat, his eyes not-so-subtly darting around for a second. No, this wasn't looking good at all.

Chris eventually brought everyone together for the new challenge: a "cattle roping" competition where one team was, of course, the herd of cattle. And as much as I would have loved to see Gwen in a cowboy hat—hey, don't give me that look, that would be really hot!—I have to admit it was amusing to see her wear plastic udders on her head.

Noah was quick to point out Trent's horrible pun. "Trent is udderly terrible at cracking wise."

Chef came out… wearing a dress, like always. But that wasn't what made us laugh, oh no! Well, okay, we did laugh at that, but not as hard as when Chef tied Chris to the fence post.

"Brand him! Quick! Brand him!" I had never seen Noah be so energetic about anything before.

The cowboy Grips chased the cattle Gaffers, lassos in hands. Beth quickly took Heather down; I imagined that her farming experience had something to do with it, but she attributed it to her baton twirling. Justin roped DJ soon after.

Around this time, Chris had got out of his bind. "You guys waited too long!" Noah shouted disappointedly.

Lindsay managed to tie herself up. I gotta say, I kinda liked seeing her in a cowboy hat. But then again, this is Lindsay we're talking about here. Much like Gwen, Lindsay can find many ways to look both cute and hot at the same time. And combined with her being tied up, well, I think Tyler summed it up for many of us:

"This shouldn't be turning me on as much as it is."

Most of us laughed, some of us nodded in agreement, and Courtney just rolled her eyes.

Gwen and Trent soon ran into each other. Surprise, surprise!

"Is she throwing the challenge?" Courtney fumed. "Why are these guys on the show? They don't want to win!"

Trent threw the lasso on the ground, not even trying to rope her.

"Totally not what Cody would have done," Noah quipped.

Courtney joined in, but with clear disdain. "Cody would hogtie her and drag her away, never to be seen again."

"Hey!" That hurt. I knew Courtney was having a rough time right now, but that was uncalled for.

"Can't catch Harold," Tyler spoke up, probably trying to distract us from Courtney's extremely dark joke at my expense. "He's the Gingerbread—"

"And Owen's down for the count," Noah interrupted.

Meanwhile, Beth was untying Lindsay, now noticing her friend tied to the post. "Hey, Beth," she asked, "why can't we go to the mall instead?"

"Lindsay, we're in the middle of a competition," Beth told her. "You gotta rope some cow-folks, cowpoke!"

"I still wish we could go to the mall." She picked up the rope and looked ahead. "Hey, is Travis okay?"

"Who?" Beth looked and spotted Trent sitting a little ways down the road. "Oh. I don't know."

"Well I'm gonna cheer him up!" Lindsay walked up behind the sulking Trent and threw the rope around him. "Gotcha, cowboy!"

Surprised and confused by the action, Trent turned to her. "Lindsay, I'm on your team. Rope the cattle—you know, the people with udders?"

Lindsay chuckled. "You're funny."

"Um… okay then." He gave the rope back to her. "You see the guys with those pink things on their heads?"

"Oh, I know, they look so weird wearing those things."

"Well you tie them up, not the people in cowboy hats."

"Oh, yeah, I knew that."

"Then why did you—?"

"C'mon!" Beth ran past them. "Let's round up the rest of the cattle!"

The chase was on once more. The group had already circled once around the corral, and the Gaffers found themselves in front of Chris and the discarded rope. Finding an opportunity, the cattle decided to do a little cattle roping of their own.

Gwen struck first and Lindsay found herself in a bind yet again. Cue dirty thoughts of Gwen tying up Lindsay and moving on…

Soon, the rest of the Grips found themselves victim to the dreaded rope. Justin's capture was the most comical. Now, I wasn't sure how the Gaffers were supposed to win, but apparently this unexpected turn convinced Chris to give them the win. And for whatever reason, Duncan tied up Harold. Really? Come on, dude, enough is enough.

Chris wasn't quite finished yet, and Noah facepalmed, wishing he hadn't brought up branding.

"Got anything in a G?" Um… wow. Trent's taking branding pretty well, as long as it's the first letter of Gwen's name. I'm not so sure I'd even go for that. Maybe a normal tattoo, but I don't think I even want one of those, honestly.

Thankfully, Chris's lawyers kept him from doing the branding, but I could imagine that damages elsewhere had been done. Gwen wasn't too happy with Trent. Sometimes she was upset at him, and other times she was disturbed. But the whole time I could tell, just by looking at her, looking into her eyes, even on a TV screen, I could tell that she was conflicted. She did not want to hurt him, but perhaps she felt it was inevitable, and I could imagine that only made it worse for her.

This is terrible.

Understandable, yes, but terrible.

Yes, I understand. Trent was throwing challenges, making a lot of mistakes, and of course there's that… weird… problem he's got… but Gwen knew that he wasn't perfect, right? I mean, who is? Trent's still a great guy, after all. But I guess it was too much for Gwen. Poor Trent.

-X-

A "showering" scene later, we were treated with some confessionals. This confirmed things for me a bit more, and it seemed like Trent understood the situation as well, but I doubt he would have expected what was coming for him. Gwen's contempt—not for him, but for what he was doing—was apparent. Unrelated, Duncan explained his own contempt for Harold, not that we expected any other reason; Courtney, however, was content with the words he spoke. Not contempt, content; a first for her in what felt like an eternity. She wasn't even all that happy, but she was not angry, nor was she brooding. She was okay, and I was not sure how long it would last.

Not long after, Gwen decided to confront Trent one more time. Trent had showered on his own, away from the pack, embarrassed of the things he did that day. There are not many good conversations that start with the words "we need to talk," so I knew this had to be it.

Sure enough, this was it. Gwen tried to let him go easy, and at first it seemed like Trent was taking it relatively well. Maybe it took a while to sink in.

Unfortunately for them, an eavesdropper was in the midst.

"No," I muttered, eyes shut tight. "Come on, Justin, don't do this."

"It just wouldn't be great TV if he didn't," Noah said in melancholy.

"I don't get it. She didn't do anything." Geoff removed his hat and scratched his head. "Why is Justin targeting Gwen?"

"Simple strategizing," Noah explained. "If he can guilt trip Gwen, he has the Gaffers in his back pocket."

"Next to his 'assets'," Katie added. "His yummy assets…"

Sadie agreed. "So yummy!"

"Blackmail," Noah continued, "seems to be okay in the world of reality television."

"Of course it is, it's reality television," I pointed out.

"Touché."

Onscreen, Justin had reached the "shower" area and rounded up his team. "We have a situation. Follow me."

"But I was just about to get in the barrel," Lindsay whined, ready to undo her towel. Much to the dismay of many, no doubt, especially Tyler, she kept herself wrapped up.

"What's this about?" Beth asked as she, Lindsay, and Owen followed Justin in the direction of the trailers.

"You'll see."

Once they met up with Gwen, Justin went in for the kill. Gwen was caught off-guard and tried to cover it up, but Justin was not going to stay silent. He told the girls, and Owen, what he heard. Soon, Gwen caved in and admitted that Trent was throwing challenges for her. This struck a chord with the group, especially Beth.

"There goes the neighborhood." Noah, now's not the time.

As Gwen explained the situation, Tyler added, "I know this is serious and all, but… man, Lindsay looks so beauti—hey! Owen!"

"Can you blame him?" Noah quipped.

"He's got a nice view," I admitted.

"And you have a nice view of Owen's," Tyler reminded us, and we dropped the subject.

In the end, Gwen could not convince them completely, and she asked them to vote Trent off. The final piece of the puzzle was put into place. Fate had screwed them over.

"Excuse me for a moment." I had to get away, at least for a few minutes. I felt a lot of things at that moment: sorrow, pity… guilty? That one I didn't quite understand. Maybe it was just something that felt like guilt. Or maybe I felt guilty because I wasn't there to help out, not that it was in my power to do so.

I went into the lounge to grab a glass of water and spotted Trent tuning his guitar. This probably was not the best place to be, but he saw me before I could sneak out. "Hey, dude. How's it going?" He strummed the guitar.

"Thirsty," I said as I poured water into a glass.

"I hear ya. Listen, Cody… I really want to apologize for threatening to mess up your face that one time."

"Dude, that was so long ago. It's cool." I took a sip. He strummed his guitar again.

"Yeah, but that wasn't right." He sighed. "I wonder what she would have thought of me if she found out about that."

"She watched the tapes."

"I mean at the time." A third strum followed. "I was much more stable back then." I hope that was a non sequitor. "Something changed in me, Cody." A fourth. "I don't know when it happened, but I think I know why. The problem is I don't want to jump to conclusions."

"Yeah, they can get you in hot water."

A fifth. "Cody, do you like motorcycles?"

"Never rode one."

"Someday, I'm going to teach ya. I hear girls like motorcycles." A sixth. "Well, some girls, anyway."

I chuckled. "Thanks, Trent."

He began to smile. It wasn't much, but it was a start. "No problem, dude." A seventh. "Been thinking of a song. Not sure if it's a good idea, though."

"I can imagine."

"Yeah."

An eighth, then silence.

I drank the last of the water and set the glass on the counter.

A few moments later, Trent broke the silence. "Still rooting for her to win?"

"I doubt she's going to win after what I just saw," I admitted.

Silence once more, and then the ninth. Trent set the guitar aside. "But do you still want her to win."

"Of course I do," I said truthfully. "She was so close last time. I think she deserves the million."

He stood up and patted me on the shoulder. "Me too."

Though Trent and I were certainly friends before, I believe it was at that moment that we became like brothers. Even with all that we understood before, we reached a new level of understanding here. A silver lining, considering all that had happened.

"Hey, guys?" We turned to find Billy in the doorway. "Aftermath starts in one hour."

"Aftermath?" Trent asked, and I filled him in. "Oh… I'll catch up, okay?"

"Okay." I followed Billy out of the room, but turned to Trent as I walked through the door. He had picked up the guitar again and appeared as though he was about to strum it for a tenth time, but he sighed and put it aside once more.

**-X-**

**You're probably thinking "FINALLY! It's been over a year, dude, come on!" XD Again, I'll try to make sure it doesn't take that long to upload the next chapter.**

**Oh, and Owen glancing at Lindsay's boobs for the win.**


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